Jessika and Operation "Sandstorm"

Sat. September 11, 2004 12:00 AM
by Jessika Sterling

Dah'links!!!!...oh my god, what a fabulous weekend we had in Saugatuck Michigan!!!!

Your fearless diva, Miss Jessika Sterling, was in rare form once again. We definitely felt as though our little cabin was the center of the universe for the four lovely, relaxing, wild, and exhausting days we had at the Dunes Resort.

Riding "shot-gun" for my trip this time was my famous drag-mom, Miss Gabrielle Giovant'e!!!!....(god help the towns-people when we two are, no drag for her, she was going to be the puerto rican-husband (...and cut anyone who got out of line) this weekend..haha ...just kidding, don't kill me.

Once again, I brought out Jessika Sterling for the evening's festivities and had SO MUCH fun laughing and partying I about threw-a-tit!

Gabby and I went into town during the day (...after we got up at the crack of noon) and browsed the local establishments for some new frocks & fashions that would catch our eye. And, LOW-AND-BEHOLD I find a pair of black strappy heels, with little black bungee cords and neon yellow nylon straps that match my comic strip dress PERFECTLY!!!! ....LLLllllaaaaahhhhh, the drag-gods have parted the clouds and blessed us all....let the pigeons loose!!!! ("...gurl, I think I'm moist?!") add to our bountiful moment, as I'm chit chatting with the store manager (big drag-hag by the way) I mention that I was looking for anything camoflage for that night's military-themed "Sandstorm Party" @ the Dunes.

Well, gurl, she has her assistant just bouncing off the walls showing us all these little outfits from the backroom!!!! It was so funny how they were really getting into this....she's showing me dresses, skirts, shoes, and even sunglasses! We ended up putting together this little camo top, cute (...but damn-short) black cargo skirt, and fierce nude ankle strap heels....threw in some free shit also ( better, gurl!!!). Then we went next door to the men's store (same owners) and I walked out with about 6 fierce shirts and some pants, all being about $40/each!!!! These would be like $150 shirts in chicago. It was so funny how Gabby and I got these looks walking down the streets of Saugatuck (remember this is a really small little artsy harbor-town in western michigan) looking like the gay-version of Paris and Nichole loaded with shopping bags, wearing our little clubby shirts & sunglasses, and loading up the Jaguar......can you just smell the moment dear?! We went by her store the next day and this same girl about tackles us on the sidewalk to show us more stuff!!! She said she loved dealing with us since this town is somewhat lacking in diva-style.....but hey, finding Gucci in this little crack of a town was amazing.....they knew that we call there the "Gay Hamptons" in Chicago.

Anyway, saturday night was the camo-look and who do I run into but Kyle, Jason, Joe and the boyz from Sidetracks in Chicago!!!! Well, the "Jessika Sterling Bumper Boyz" just keeps growing like wildfire! We had so much fun and I even bump into Cissy and Lex, who are the headliners in the cabaret show.

Cissy actually still remembers me from 4th of july weekend (...and her stopping her show as I walk in and comment that she "hates when guys look better than me"..haha) and we had alot of fun at her show as I loaned her some of my new acquired "sailor-themed" bumper boyz, along with a hat, for her Cher number in the show!!! But, the real mid-blower (..I said MIND there) was bumping into a guy I used to work with in the ladies room.....who I haven't seen in 10 years...who knew me when I was in the closet....and a 200lbs, jock, boy!!! Let's just say that when I said "Chuck?????" the moment was speechless. (I swear I run into more people in
the bathroom!)

Sunday night was the big moment with Amy Armstrong doing the cabaret show, and it being her birthday! So, since she sang happy birthday to me two years ago at a show in chicago, it was my turn to return the favor. So, the owner's of the Dunes resort grabbed me and had me be the "Tah-dah Girl" with the cake. I the middle of one of her numbers, I come out of the kitchen in my yellow comic-strip dress (with new shoes) and walk a HUGE 2 foot cake out ( heels mind you) and just work it up through the audience to the stage.

She just about cried with the surprise.....but "gurl, blow out the fucking candles my arm is killin' me!"

Everyone was quite impressed with my audition for a future career on the "price is right".

What a great trip....but the 4-hours it took for a "2-hour drive" back to chicago was not pleasant...and the most disgusting ghetto gas station restroom in history didn't help. Gurl, I'd rather french-kiss the dumpster before going back into this toilet!!! Thank god for the comfort of my new Sterling Silver Jaguar XK8, and the scenery of some lovely construction workers just sweating with their shirts off on the skyway......feel the moment with me. (eyes breathe in...and out)

Well, the only other interesting event lately was the traumatic-moment for my dear friend Gabby and having her lovely garden apartment turn into a swimming pool last saturday night. Let's just say she was a little "stressed" as she awoke to water dripping on her and her her
pet bunny floats by her bedroom door!!! ( know, rabbits actually can scream?)

Thank god she saved all the drag!... "Gurl, forget the family and friends....SAVE THE GOWNS AND SHOES!!!!"

That's it for the recent escapades of me and the Bumper Boyz........unfortunately, since I went to a birthday party last night a "Fogo De Chao" (the Brazilian "let's-see-how-much-meat-we-can-stuff-in-you-experience") I'll be a boi this weekend....since I'd rather not do my impression of "pregnant-barbie" in public!

Till next time....
"I love you all more than my luggage!!!"

Jessika Sterling