Marry Me Now Mary!

Gays getting married!? It's marvelous to see that becoming a reality. In my home state of Washington, the House and Senate passed a same-sex bill; setting it up to become the seventh State in the nation for gay marriage.

In Illinois, Representatives Greg Harris , Deb Mell , and Kelly Cassidy took a stand and filed a marriage equality bill in the General Assembly. Who knows, maybe I'll be able to get hitched soon. Oh, but am I ready?!?

Ask my Sainted Father his thoughts on gay marriage and he will begin the long promotion of his single gay son and all he thinks I have to offer. My Sainted Mom , however will share with you the history of what it took to get to this point in equality. Make no mistake about it; those two were fighting for my rights long before I was around; or knew about my orientation. To them and their fifty-plus years of marriage; I am committed to honor.

So, here I am a forty-two year old eligible bachelor. My Father would tell you I have a nice job, am involved in my community, sit on Boards, and have a nice collection of art on my walls. (Or, as he affectionately refers to my art, as the pork-chop around my neck; enticing one and all) Surly, that is enough, right? Me thinks not!

Now that the opportunity to marry is near, what are we doing to insure our eligibility for our future mate? Is that important? Is preparing ourselves for those future relationships really necessary? I'd say yes.

Daily discipline produces future strength . I always get a giggle at the gays being so disciplined about some things. When it comes to the activities of vanity, we are all about it. Perhaps its time to look at the disciplines of charity, health, and education!

You don't need to have a lot of money to give to charity. It's equally about giving time as well as treasure. Many groups need your help in volunteer time. That cuts down on their administrative costs. Cut out one of your coffees or cocktails this week and give that $5-$10 to a worthy cause. If you happen to have some extra dough, attend a fundraiser or gala. (Look to the left of this page for a whole list of such events)

My company's wellness program has really kicked in this year; providing so many opportunities and support systems for my health. What's your wellness program like? If your work doesn't have one, volunteer to head that up. It's good for you and for them. We spend so much time working, that we forget the little daily steps to being a healthier person. Those are very important in making us better and ultimately a better mate.

Even if you're in college or have been out of school for a while; there is still a daily need to educate yourself. That can be done at your community center, church, or social group. One of my pastimes is going to my favorite bookstore for an hour or so and looking at books. Trust me, it's hard at the end of your visit to not want to buy the store. Even more so, when they have a massive sale section! Don't settle for yesterdays learning. Continue the learning process every day; making yourself improved.

Being content in your singleness, opens doors of the unexpected . In my article entitled Single: Party of One, I spoke of the confidence people can find in the choice to be single. This confidence, I've found, comes from an understanding of who you are AND knowledge of what those you hold in high esteem think of you. It's a stamp of authority on your life.

Now, that confidence is as much for you to succeed, as it is for others to witness. With a strong sense of self-worth one finds the position of singleness to be a time of new opportunities. If you're not consumed with finding your next girlfriend/boyfriend or future mate; you are allowing yourself to experience new friendships, opportunity, and joy. You've taken the focus off of life's placement and placed it on experiences. Put simply, if I'm not looking for a boyfriend or husband, I can do and be more things I never realized.

It has to be said that there is nothing wrong with wanting a quality boyfriend/girlfriend or potential mate. I'm just not sure of the priority it tends to be for most. Surly in bettering ourselves personally, we will be more open for those future relationships. Wonderfully, we in the LGBT community are seeing light at the end of the equality tunnel. Making healthy choices is more important than ever before!

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