Time Heals All Wounds

Mon. June 2, 2008 12:00 AM
by Bill Pritchard

When I was younger I heard it said all the time that "Time heals all wounds.". Funny enough, it took me some time to understand what that meant. The older I grow the more I seem to forget that I'm not done learning and being taught. Granted, I think there are fewer lessons that I learn in a day, but I believe that we are never done learning.

Recently I was schooled on a subject that I wasn't comfortable learning about. I tend to think that I need to be people's conscience. It seems to be in my nature to remind people their convictions and goals.

Accountability is one thing, but I sometimes poke my head into places that I have no right in being. I did that very action a few weeks ago when I saw a friend doing something that they told me they didn't want to do. (Cue Superman music) Like a total a_s, I charged into action and got myself right in the way. (Insert donkey neigh) My friend has every right to change their mind. My accountability in our friendship is not there to be the ever present cop but rather as a support system when asked for.

Needless to say, I pissed my friend off. They were embarrassed and hurt because of me. Clearly that was not my intention, but that was the result of my actions. After some heated conversations over the phone, we both said things that we didn't mean. I was beyond sad at the potential loss of our friendship. Thankfully clearer heads prevailed and we chose to take some time apart to think. I'm glad we did! That was time that allowed us to forgive each other, re-group, learn our personal lessons, and ultimately heal.

Forgiveness ( Def : The act of pardoning somebody for a mistake or wrongdoing.) is often times confused as a permission slip that says whatever wrongdoing was done to you is alright. Clearly this is not the case. Forgiveness is an action of mercy. People don't deserv it most of the time but we all could use it. When my friend forgave me for sticking my head into their business, they weren't saying that what I did was okay; rather that they were going to have sympathy towards my actions. It takes a big person to give that gift. In fact, I think the act of forgiveness does more for the forgiver than it does for the one forgiven. It helps to let go of the past and move on.

Getting all your ducks in a row helps to see where you are in life. Sometimes it's a good idea to stop and write it all down; to rethink things through. In the time that my friend and I did took apart, we both regrouped. It was a good moment in our lives to remind ourselves what was important to us. It also helped us to see where we might have fallen short or where we were strong. I've been reminded lately that taking a bit of time to re-group prevents me from making even bigger mistakes.

With that time I learned a lot. I learned about myself and my friend. I was reminded that I have weakness in a few areas. I learned what not to do in the future when it comes being a friends conscience. Those lessons are important to never forget.

Healing happens when everyone is open to the possibility of growth. It's true, time does heal all wounds. In my friends and my case, we have been very lucky that we care for one another and both have personal missions to always be growing. My friend reached out to me to express their desire to grow on from here. I am very happy about that! Ultimately, that action did indeed heal my heart.

I would love to hear your stories of healing and growth. Please write.