Do You Have to be Right!?!?!

Wed. September 19, 2007 12:00 AM
by Bill Pritchard

Many is the time where my best friend Isaiah and I joke with one another saying, "Why can't everyone be like us? Whether it's in the choices we make or the attitudes we hold, people should be right like us! Clearly we're only kidding when we say it but an experience that happened to me just recently makes me question; must I always be right?

Now, I don't want to go into what it was that precipitated this line of questioning, but suffice it to say, I was in a position where I felt I was right and the other guy was wrong. As I sat there after the brief argument I realized that I was wrong to feel the way that I did. My eyes were opened to the fact that I wanted to be vindicated in my being right, not in the real truth of the situation. Was it so important to be right or were the facts of the situation more important? Would I have been the winner if I were right? Would I "feel better" if I saw that others knew I was right. Thankfully I realized the more important lesson and began to observe a few things.

For one, Getting the approval of others does not mean you're right . It may make you feel a bit better. It could help you to prove your side of the situation but it will not make your point of view correct. Have you ever noticed that we tend to hangout with those who share our beliefs or views? Most of my friends would of course come to the same logical thinking that I would in a situation! ( Side note : Yet another reason to have friends from all walks of life.) Even though you get the kudos you may still be wrong. I saw in my situation that I put more importance on what people around the argument might of thought. "I'm sure everyone thinks I'm right", I thought. Why was that so bloody important! Oh wait. . . It wasn't!

In my resent article entitled Consider the Difference I wrote about the dilemma of people taking others into thought. Disregard for others seems to be the norm these days. Let's face it all of us look out for number one, ourselves. We don't take into consideration the needs and feelings of others. I surmise that this stems from the narrow vision that we must be right. WRONG!

Look past yourself and your situation to see the whole story . I can guarantee you that I didn't know the aforementioned guys whole story! Perhaps he had a death in his family. Maybe he was hard of hearing and didn't hear my plea. It could have been that he was embarrassed that I spoke up. Even still, I could have been just plain wrong. To ASS ume that I had all the facts straight, proves that I was in fact wrong. It stands to reason that we should evaluate the circumstances before we react . Many times we have a personal agenda that clouds our vision of situations. I get so anxious with what's important to me that I don't fully think of others.

Ignore your natural response and go with what's right . When faced with a threat or rebuke, it's our nature to respond with confrontation or defence. In the need to feel that we're right and they're wrong we completely miss out on the real deal. We fight to prove we are right. Well, let me ask you; is it so important that we are "crowned" right? If you know that you are then you should be able to rest in that fact and not have to prove it to anyone. ( Side note : There are times when it is right for us to stick up for ourselves. Patiently seeking out the whole truth of a circumstance will help you to do this.) Inflicting physical harm or yelling solves nothing. It takes a strong person to pause, assess the situation and calmly move on. (And, sometimes we must indeed move! Leaving a situation can be the best choice.)

Something that I am reminded of is that the truth will always be found out ! I don't really need to help any one find it.

I would like to encourage you to try a little test. Say you're in a situation that you recognize you are right, but someone else feels they're right too. Speak up and let them know, "You're probably right!". See how they respond. They may gloat or even have you repeat what you said. In the end, the person who was wrong ( Note : This could be you!) will undoubtedly see the error of their ways and realize who was right. If it was you who were right, they may mention this or most likely try to bury their head in the sand. Either way, the truth will be found out.

Was I right or wrong about the argument that I had with that guy? It doesn't matter so long as I learned the greater lesson. I don't always have to be right !

I am right about that!