Chicagoan's True Stories of Coming Out
Who would have thought that an episode of Ricki Lake and a bad haircut would have prompted my activism in the queer community? See, when I was about 15 years old, I was over at my aunt’s house getting a haircut (God, was she a horrible stylist, but that’s a whole other story) and while I was sitting in her chair allowing her to shape my quaff, I was also letting her shape my future.
I remember it vividly, she and I were making casual conversation and in the background there was an episode of Ricki Lake that had some wacky title like, “I’m Gay and Fabulous!” As my aunt and I ran out of stuff to talk about we began to tune into what was going on in the show. Then suddenly a FABULOUS drag queen strutted herself across the stage to tell her mama that she was gay. Well, my aunt was outraged! She began telling me about how homosexuality was an outrage and that these flamboyant faggots were going to hell. Mind you, I was only out to some of my close friends at this time (and my aunt was holding a sharp object), so I just sat back and listened to her extreme opinions. Her cruel words peeked when she made a comment that suggested that all gay people deserved to die and that HIV/AIDS was God’s way of ensuring this. That comment angered me to no end and stuck with me until I saw her again.
A few weeks later, my aunt was hosting Easter Sunday dinner for my entire family and I decided that I was going to make it a holiday meal that no one, especially her could forget. Still angered about the horrible things she said about my community, I went into my closet and pulled out an ugly pair of pleather paints that I wore as a Halloween costume and a He-Man pajama shirt that fit me when I was about 5 years old. As I was dressing in these clothes, the only thing I kept thinking was, if she wants to see flamboyant, I’ll show her flamboyant!
Adorning this scandalous outfit, I got into the car with my parents, who had no clue what to think about my clothing, and we arrived at my aunt’s house. Upon her opening the door to welcome us she was interrupted by my diva-licious, “Heeey!” I then strutted past her and continued this act up for the rest of the night, not really sure what I was doing.
As the dinner came to an end and my parents were getting ready to go, I wondered into my aunt’s kitchen where I found her washing dishes. I then boldly asked her, “So, do I deserve to die?” She looked at me blankly and like a good diva in training, I spun around and sashayed out of that kitchen and out of her home.
Although coming out to my family was more dramatic than I ever dreamed it to be, the manner in which I came out to my aunt was extremely powerful because I knew I was taking a stand against the homophobia that I allowed to oppress me. I firmly believe that it is homophobia that keeps members of the queer community in the closet and it isn’t until we each muster up the strength to stand up and force those who oppress to see us that the LGBT community will gain the equality we deserve.
Share your Coming Out story, email chicagoprideyouth@howardbrown.org.
I remember it vividly, she and I were making casual conversation and in the background there was an episode of Ricki Lake that had some wacky title like, “I’m Gay and Fabulous!” As my aunt and I ran out of stuff to talk about we began to tune into what was going on in the show. Then suddenly a FABULOUS drag queen strutted herself across the stage to tell her mama that she was gay. Well, my aunt was outraged! She began telling me about how homosexuality was an outrage and that these flamboyant faggots were going to hell. Mind you, I was only out to some of my close friends at this time (and my aunt was holding a sharp object), so I just sat back and listened to her extreme opinions. Her cruel words peeked when she made a comment that suggested that all gay people deserved to die and that HIV/AIDS was God’s way of ensuring this. That comment angered me to no end and stuck with me until I saw her again.
A few weeks later, my aunt was hosting Easter Sunday dinner for my entire family and I decided that I was going to make it a holiday meal that no one, especially her could forget. Still angered about the horrible things she said about my community, I went into my closet and pulled out an ugly pair of pleather paints that I wore as a Halloween costume and a He-Man pajama shirt that fit me when I was about 5 years old. As I was dressing in these clothes, the only thing I kept thinking was, if she wants to see flamboyant, I’ll show her flamboyant!
Adorning this scandalous outfit, I got into the car with my parents, who had no clue what to think about my clothing, and we arrived at my aunt’s house. Upon her opening the door to welcome us she was interrupted by my diva-licious, “Heeey!” I then strutted past her and continued this act up for the rest of the night, not really sure what I was doing.
As the dinner came to an end and my parents were getting ready to go, I wondered into my aunt’s kitchen where I found her washing dishes. I then boldly asked her, “So, do I deserve to die?” She looked at me blankly and like a good diva in training, I spun around and sashayed out of that kitchen and out of her home.
Although coming out to my family was more dramatic than I ever dreamed it to be, the manner in which I came out to my aunt was extremely powerful because I knew I was taking a stand against the homophobia that I allowed to oppress me. I firmly believe that it is homophobia that keeps members of the queer community in the closet and it isn’t until we each muster up the strength to stand up and force those who oppress to see us that the LGBT community will gain the equality we deserve.
Share your Coming Out story, email chicagoprideyouth@howardbrown.org.
