There was a long beep.

There was a jolt.

There was a long beep.

There was a jolt.

And then... there was an empty bar.

Charlie felt light, like he'd been moving in slow motion his whole life but was finally catching up to himself. He walked up to the bar, sat on a stool, and waited. Out of nowhere, a shaggy and scruffy Wicker Park type in his early thirties appeared behind the bar. His dark features and olive skin reminded him of someone he'd met before. Or known his whole life and had just forgotten. He poured Charlie a glass of water.

"Can I get you something stronger than water? It's on me."

Charlie smiled. "How about some pinot grigio."

"Sorry," he smiled back, shrugging sheepishly. "All I've got is red."

"That's fine," Charlie said as the Bartender replaced the glass of water with a glass of wine. "Thanks, um... "

"Call me Jay. It's easier that way."

"Thanks Jay."

Charlie sipped his wine quietly, mindful that Jay was nonchalantly watching him the whole time.

"Wanna talk about it?" Jay asked after an eternity that lasted a second.

"What's there to talk about?" Charlie asked, finishing his wine in one gulp. "I fucked up."


"Well, lucky for you, it's an open bar," Jay said, pouring him another glass. "And I've got some time to listen."

"I... nah, if it's all the same to you, I'd like to just sit here and forget my troubles for a while."

"No problem. Mind if I turn on the game?" Charlie shook his head. Jay clicked on the ancient black and white TV. Jay half watched the game, half doodled on a cocktail napkin. Charlie let his eyes wander up to the screen between sips of wine. Between snow and static, there were moments that looked familiar to him, like from a story his mother would've read to him before he learned what language was:

A seven-year-old boy at recess getting an awkward kiss from his best friend Billy.

A mother consoling her teenage son after he had confided about his first broken heart, coming out of the closet to her as an after-thought.

A man saying, "I love you" for the first time and learning the eternity of waiting to hear it back.

The overwhelming shadow of fear and angst associated with a tattoo.

The promise and potential in a sweet-faced boy that might go forever unrealized.

A man's parents flying back across the world, their hearts full of hopes and prayers.

Those hopes and prayers were echoed by many. By the student who looked up to his teacher more than the teacher realized. By the man sitting alone in a crowded bar, finding comfort for the things left unsaid at the bottom of a pint. By the man at dinner with his boyfriend, hiding the fear and worry of the "what could've been" in his heart. By the flamboyant young man who hid all the sadness for the only person who saw him as worthwhile person in thumping bass of a dance floor. By the sister who learned everything about empathy and compassion from the brother who lay dying.

"Who's winning?" Charlie asked, finishing his wine.

"My money's on the home team," Jay said, refilling his wine glass. The TV filled with static and snow once more and then shut itself off.

"How does it turn out?" Charlie asked, sipping his wine.

"Guess we'll never know."

"But what's the point of watching it if you don't know how it'll turn out?"

"The point isn't to just watch it, Slugger. It's to actually play the game."

"Doesn't seem like a game worth playing, does it?"

"That's always the big question, in the end, isn't it?" Somewhere off in the distance there was faint, long beep, and a jolting tremor. "Closing time," Jay said, taking away Charlie's half drunk glass. "You don't have to go home... "

"... but I can't stay here. I remember the 90's, thanks."

"Always with the funny," Jay said, winking at him. "It was always my favorite thing about you."

Charlie got up and realized he didn't know where he was meant to go. Jay smiled and walked to the back door, opening it to reveal a warm and white light.

"You can come with me, if you want. But I have a feeling, there's some stuff you should probably get back to."

A door on the other side of Charlie opened. Through that door, was a dim tunnel, blue with dark, the path of which seemed unsure and frightening.

"I want to go home with you. More than anything in the world. But... "

"Either way," Jay smiled, enveloped by the white light. "I'm always here for you." Jay folded up the napkin doodle and gave it to Charlie. "And you know how to get a hold of me." Jay walked through the door, enveloped by the white light.

Charlie looked at the folded up napkin doodle. It was the simple outline of a phoenix.

Charlie walked through the door.

###