Fitting into the Gay Community

Tue. November 28, 2006 12:00 AM
by Bill Pritchard

Dear friends,

Not long ago I had a friend on send me a note that got me thinking. He wrote. "Since I'm somewhat shy it's hard for me to make new friends and I'm kinda scared of the gay community not liking me..." He goes on to say, "I don't know, I wanna fit into the gay community but it seems really hard."

There is the choice to step out of our comfort zones and meet people. I am reminded of the challenge to my thinking that says the opinions of others truly don't matter. Sometimes what makes us shy is that opinion or the fear of rejection. I could give you a million reasons why people would reject me. I can give you a billion more reasons why I don't care about that.

Going into a place by your self is difficult for anyone! How will they look at me? How will they respond? Will they give me the time of day? I remember when I first went out in Chicago. I went to Boystown favorite, Roscoe's. It was a Sunday night. I grabbed a drink and went looking around the place. I sat in front of the fireplace in the back of the bar and tried to strike up a conversation with this guy who was sitting there by himself. He looked at me as if I have a third eye, and walked away. I was a bit surprised. I was even more impacted by this negative turn of events. You see, it was because of that guy that I now say hello to anyone and everyone, wherever I go.

Sometimes Making A Difference in the lives of people requires us to reach out in a way that we are not familiar.

Stepping out of our comfort zone to comfort others Makes A Difference! Think of how you would feel in an unknown environment by yourself. Wouldn't it be nice if someone were to come to you with a warm greeting! One doesn't need to be aware of the surroundings as much as the opportunities. You can meet terrific people just by reaching out to them. Who knows, you might introduce yourself to a new best friend or future love.

Being hospitable to new friends opens the doors for them to Make A Difference! In short, you have the ability to provide opportunity and experience to others. I have had moments where I will meet someone and not 10 minutes later turn and introduce them to their future boss or friend. Think of your closest friend; how did you meet them?

Making A Difference in your own life starts by doing so in others. You will be rewarded by helping others fit in. Some of my greatest relationship (both platonic and romantic) have been made by me making the move to include them in my circle of friends or experiences. I have been blessed by that leap of faith.

Who have you seen that might need a friend? What have you done when you pass by someone in a social place that is clearly by themselves? What could you do? The challenge is to us all; from walking mouths like me, to the shy person reaching out.

Making A Difference starts with little moments. Those moments are care, happiness, peace, patience, self-control, gentleness and kindness.

Make life better for yourself by reaching out to others!!