Give Them Their Flowers: Debrah G

During my last year as a volunteer photojournalist, I am grateful to share space to help give people in our community their flowers for being wonderful people and for their awesome contributions. Thank you, Debrah G, for being you and sharing your legacy.

Debrah G shares a reflection about coming out through the lens of her particular background. She touches on learning disability and family dynamics playing a role. In her circle, she's gained a moniker: Lesbian Mayor of Andersonville.

These are her words pieced together from our conversation:

Growing up in the northern suburbs of Chicago was okay for someone who was socially awkward and had learning disabilities. I had a pretend friend who was butch like me who was always there for me when most people couldn’t understand my verbiage or my lack of social skills. I always sang and danced in my room and loved watching musicals.

My parents divorced when I was young, and one of a handful of women my dad was dating was sexy and funny. When I was almost a teenager, I was excited when I hung out with her. She didn’t do anything special, but the fact that no one in the family was funny or physical made a big impact on how I felt being around her.

There was this one time when I was around 14 and we were watching TV, just me and her, and all I did was stare at her. After a while she said something like, "You better be watching the TV."

She was not gay, but I think she was sensing I was always looking at her and, I guess in her opinion, not appropriately. So she would distract me with activities.

I don’t think I knew why at the time I was always excited to hang out with her, but now I think she probably was my first woman crush.

When I was 17, my hair was short, and I wore no makeup, no jewelry, jeans and shirts. My mom and I were walking around a mall just looking at clothes when an elderly man bumped into me and said, "Excuse me, young man."

My mom looked at me angrily and said that will happen if I don’t wear makeup or jewelry.

But I thought it was pretty cool.

I came out to myself in college around age 20 when I finally realized I was always happy being around women. I then came out to the women around me who weren’t gay, but they were fine if I was.

I didn’t tell my parents until my late 20s, and they were okay about it. So my coming out story was pretty boring.

I was a virgin when I came out and had my first sexual encounter with a woman a few years later. So I verified it. I am gay. Gold star lesbian here.

Life after coming out is good. I had some flings, but mostly made lots of "lesbibuddies" and built community through community events. I help bring women together through events and being there for the newbies. I am known as the Lesbian mayor of Andersonville.

As for the next generation, you Gen Zs, Alphas, and others: You are all doing great, expanding the community to new heights. Keep being your awesome, absolutely fantastic, authentic selves. You are changing the world for the better.