"Can I get you something to drink? Beer? Coffee? Water?" Tom asked as Charlie took his coat off.

"Water's fine. Still recovering from last night."

"Wild night, eh?"

"Not like before. I'm not twenty-five anymore."

Tom chuckled as he poured them both glasses of water. "Yeah, Diego and I... " He let the sentence trail off, leaving the music blaring from his laptop to fill the silence.

"I'm so sorry," Tom said, rushing over to his laptop. "Let me turn it down."

"Is that Jay Brannan?" Charlie smiled, sitting on the couch.

"Yeah. I found all of his stuff on Spotify after you turned me on to him last year."

"I remember when I gave you that CD. It felt like sixth grade again, giving someone a mix tape."

"It's still the best Valentine's Day present I ever got."

"It's the only one I've ever given out."

"Yeah," Tom smiled as he sat next to Charlie. "It's the only one I ever got."

"But this year... " Charlie let the sentence dangle in the air with a bittersweet envy.

"It's really good to see you, Charlie. Really. The last time I saw you, you weren't doing so well."

"Well, you'll have to forgive me, I didn't expect to see you living with a guy I was on a date with."

"No. I meant... in the hospital. When you were... "

"Eddy said you didn't come by."

"She stopped me once. But before... when it first happened... I was there. I just sat with you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I just... said all this shit I wished I said when we were together."

"How did you even... ?"

"Tristan. He texted everybody that might care."

"And you did?"

Tom took Charlie's hand. "Of course, I did Charlie." The weight of Tom's hand on Charlie's began to feel heavy with a familiarity that Charlie longed to know again. Overwhelmed, he got up and began to pace.

"Sorry... this is just... maybe this wasn't such a good... "

"It is," Tom said, grabbing Charlie's hand and sitting him down. "I'm glad to see you."

"I am too. And I hate it."

"I think about you all the time."

"I do too."

"And I miss you."

"Yeah... I miss you too."

"So what are we going to do about it?"

Charlie's heart froze. Cautiously, he said: "What do you want to do about it?"

"You're amazing Charlie. You're easily the coolest guy I've ever met. You're funny, you're smart, you just... you have this way about you that... I want you in my life again, Charlie."

"You do?"

"Yeah. And after Diego gets to know you, he'll get over... "

"Wait. How exactly do you want me in your life?"

"Any way I can."

"Any way except the one that truly matters." Charlie let go of Tom's hand. "I can't keep doing this to myself."

"What?"

"We're over. We're so over. We've been over for a year and... whenever I see you, I hope against hope that you'll wake up. That you'll realize that breaking up with me was the biggest fuck up in your life and we'll be together again."

"It was the biggest... "

"It's so stupid. I mean I have this guy, this amazing guy that actually wants to be with me. He tracked me down for god's sake. But in one second, I was just ready to throw that away. Just because I thought that you... "

"I'm sorry if... "

"No. I knew what this was. I needed closure. After all we've been through, I needed... "

"I need you. In my life. As a friend or... "

"I've got friends, Tom. I don't need any more. I needed you to be something in my life and you aren't that. So it's time to say goodbye. For real this time."

"Are you serious?" Charlie nodded and Tom abruptly hugged him and held him tight. Charlie held him back.

"I wish you well, Tom. Really. You're an awesome guy. You deserve to be happy. Even if it's not with me."

"You were my first everything," Tom said, choking back tears.

"Mine too," said Charlie, not as successful as Tom. "Which is why this, all of it, has hurt so much."

"So if I see you out and about... "

"I won't run. I won't hide. I'll say hi and move on. But I won't be waiting anymore. I feel like a part of me has always been waiting for you. But that's done."

Tom kissed him, slowly and tenderly. It was at once familiar and empty, like an old house that you used to live in but was already two years into its new occupants. "Sorry, I just had to. Just one last time."

"You realize I'm the only thing in your life that ever made sense, right?" Charlie joked. Tom chuckled back and nodded, letting the tears flow. Charlie grabbed his coat and let himself out, smiling at the song that popped up next on Tom's playlist on his way out. Tom waited for Charlie to come back and change his mind. But the door stayed shut.

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Just joining us? Catch up here:

Volume 1 -
Week One, Week Two, Week Three, Week Four, Week Five

Volume 2 -
Week One, Week Two, Week Three, Week Four, Week Five

Volume 3 -
Week One, Week Two, Week Three, Week Four, Week Five

Volume 4 -
Week One, Week Two, Week Three, Week Four, Week Five


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