FEATURE COLUMN

Masquerading 2008

Wed. October 15, 2008 12:00 AM
by Feature Column

From guys to gals and reproductive organs, three of Chicago's famed femmes share their choice for this year's best Halloween costume
by Jason P Freeman

"Of course the hottest costume will have to be VP nominee Sarah Palin," says local hostess with the most-ess, Lady Vera Parker. "The costume is easy: Get out your favorite pink suit jacket, put your hair in a messy up-do, and throw on a pair of cheap reading glasses. To add to the effect, make sure to avoid all direct questions, say 'Maverick' at least once in every other sentence, and reference your good neighbor Russia. Bonus points if you get a mini van so you can be a true soccer mom, or a broken down crown from your days of running for Miss Alaska."

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When it comes to Halloween costumes, the bad-ass babe with the biggest boobs, Tina Torch, doesn't have much to say, but does say, "I think the [costume] pick of the year is Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, the musical."

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"I'm always a sucker for a giant Vagina costume," shares the city's sauciest siren, Teri Aki. "That shit cracks me up. I've always thought about tweaking it a little by pouring honey all over it, that way it would be more like the real thing. Sweet, sticky and you can collect bugs throughout your Halloween adventure."

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Fierce, fab or ferocious? What are you going to be for Halloween this year?

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