Dear Princess Darby,
I have just broken up with a someone who had given me their heart 110%.I was doing the exact same until one day I woke up and realized that this is not what I want.
Over the next few days I measured the pro's and con's to this relationship. I thought should I try and save a friendship out of the package?
Well in the end we broke up. A lot of people told me that from the outside looking in, he was the best thing for me, and I stupid for giving up on "us".
I know that I did the right thing. Butwhy do I feel like every person I date I break up with? I feel I rip their hearts out?
The real question I am trying to ask is...is there really someone out there for everyone??? Even in the gay community...because I am feeling lonely.
Thank you,
Lonely.
Dear Lonely,
The first question to ask yourself is why you repeat the same action of breaking up with every person you date. The second question is why do you think that there is a difference if you are looking at relationships and potential relationships in the stratight or gay community.
Why do you date? Do you date for social or romantic intentions? Do you date to be active or to develop a relationship with a partner? Do you think in short or long terms?
No matter if our friendships and realitonships are with friends or partners, all relationships need commitment, honesty, and trust. Relationships are a lot of work. Although, when the backbone of relationships are built on a strong basis, they usually remain strong. Are you willing to do this?
I don't think there is a difference if you are gay or straight that determines the availability of partners. People are complex individuals. You have to decide what qualities and limitations you will accept in yourself and others, and what you are willing to bring to the table.
Today we live in such a high tech environment, that we want answers and everthing in a "right now" moment. Maturity, living, and appreciating life and people is importmant.
Remember, through experiences we learn. No one "rips" out hearts of others. We do things to ourselves. Others do not control our lives, you do.
To answer your last question, "is there someone for everyone"? Look into rush hour trafic. Look at all those people living their lives. I'm sure you'll find someone.
Allthough, I suggest that you look at the traffic light of love and think before you go at to green, contemplate on yellow, and stop and think at red.
Enjoy the rest of summer. There's a new season ahead of us.
Princess Darby
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