Dear Mistrust,

You can love someone but not trust them.

When you don't trust someone,it's because you have had a negative experience trusting that person or someone else. Past history doesn't easily leave us. It is a constant shadow of doubt that lingers in our memory and in our heart, even during the brightest day.

This shadow creeps around in our memories, and rears its ugly head when we sense that this situation may happen again. This is when we naturally put up our guard, become aware, watch for signals. Wait.

That is the down side. The upside is that we are compassionate human beings. Willing to hope, forgive, but unfortunately not forget!

We negotiate with ourselves that if something happens again, our heart and baggage will leave never to eturn. And, sometimes, we wait for the next time. The next time, and the time after that.

Although I don't know the circumstances, I think before drastic measure are taken, one really has to look at the total picture. And, what type of relationship you have.

Ask some logical and non emotional questions. Did your partner blatantly have an affair? Constantly lie about where they were, hide phone numbers, have secret meetings, or have intimate relationships through emails? Are you and your partner on the same commitment page, or have a "don't know don't tell" basis? (Which I don't believe int).

Any one of these, and someone would be out the door! Only you can answer these questions. Life is short, and the value of a human being's love and time is an investment that you can't withdraw from the bank.

If you have invested time and energy into this relationship, then talk with your partner. If you really want to make this work, perhaps see a counselor with your partner.

If you have done all these things, and if you have felt this for a long time, then it is time to make your decision.

Lost of trust can be a theft of the heart. Don't let yours be stolen.


Princess Darby