Dear Darby,
I have been working on my best friends wedding dress for about four months now, and saturday was her last fitting. Yesterday she called me said that she was not going to wear the dress, I was hurt, but understood that she was being brain washed by both the grooms family and hers to change her dress.
I just feel like I failed and have a broken heart. is this feeling normal? I now feel like a fool...
Thanks,
Feeling Down
Wednesday, October 6, 2004
Dear Feeling Down,
I purposely waited to answer your letter. Getting married is such a stressful event. People think it's a romantic time for the "love birds", but if you haven't actually been the bride or groom, you haven't got a clue!
Your feelings were natural, normal, and expected. While I read your letter, there were many questions that crossed my mind.
Why would you think that your friend was "brain washed"? Why would she feel pressed? Why would any bride cancel a gown she worked with you obviously in both design and cost?
And, who paid for the materials? Was this a gift from you, or did she commission this from you?
Too many questions, too many emotions. If the bride paid for your services and the materials, then she is in the position to cancel the gown. If, on the other hand, this was a gift from you to the bride, she still is in the position to accept your gift, and change her mind.
Her actions are perplexing. And, I could feel your hurt. But, none the less, it is the bride's wedding, and is her choice. How she shares her decision and relationship with you is her responsibility. How you react to her decisions is up to you as her friend.
Part of me says, "send her a bill for time and charges". The other part of me says, wipe the brow of the sweat of all the work away, finish the gown, and give it to her as a gift.
If nothing else, there are so many charities out there that could use your beautiful design for others who could not afford your handcrafted treasure.
I hope this has helped you. I have been a stressed out bride, and I know I experienced many occasions with my fabulous wedding party that led me to the bar!
Let me know how things turned out. Remember, the work you did on the gown was out of love, and move on.
Princess Darby
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