Dear Princess Darby,
My daughter is graduating and is comming back home to live.
Now, that the kids are gown, and out of the "nest", I thought my child rearing days are over! My husband thought this was a great idea!
He's purchased a luxury car for her so she doesn't have to buy one, a new wardrobe for interviewing, and a vacation before she goes on interviews.
My question, if her lifestyle is comfortable, will she ever move out?
Seeking Parental Freedom
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
Dear Seeking Parental Freedom,
Your situation is not unusual in these economic situations in the work place today.
Children set their values and behavior patterns from the basis of their upbringing. Your daughter sounds like she has had a priviledged life, or you are getting ready to go into hock before you retire.
If mom and dad are able to set up their children, there are new grads out there that do go home to nest. Usually, parents may assist their "children" away from home.
Your question is, "will she ever move out?". I wouldn't if I were her, it's too good at home. Next question, what should you do? Last question, how did you handle your concerns with your husband during your discussion regarding this?
No previous discussion between yourself and your husband on the situation which impacts both of you? If not, I'd rethink this. Perhaps you could discuss this now, set up guidelines and perhaps at move out date. With a target date, your daughter will look harder for a job, take a shorter vacation, and perhaps get a part time job to pay for room and board.
No room and board arranagements? Not too late. Set a ratemonthly rent, costs for utilities, etc. Prepare your daughter for the responsibilities of the real world. Afterall, landlords, banks, and roommates expect on time payments.
If nothing else, take a vacation have fun, because your lifestyle looks like it will be changing. You're in charge of your life, make the most of it happy.
Princess Darby
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