Dear Princess:
I met this real cool guy from this Pride website. We had a lot of initial interaction (almost a month) before we even met.
Finally, after a skeptical one month, we met. We found we really liked each other (by all means). He really liked me and contacted me with lot of sweet and nice messages. I even gave him a very valuable gift for his birthday.
Towards the end of last week, I invited him over for dinner (as a good gesture) and he came over. We had a long chat and all of a sudden he just took off saying he has got some other work.
Ever since then, the one month relationship has become hazy... I tried calling him and talking about it. He does not want to talk to me. He simply wrote back an email (early this week) saying he finds that I live way too far and he does not want to dedicate so much time on this relationship. I mean, we are just 20 minutes off. He sticks to his stand and how he says because of the distance problem, we can never have a relationship, and it will just be a friendship.
I mean, he was the one who gave me the notion that he is in love with me. He exchanged so much information over a month, and suddenly it just seems as if I'm stalking him. So strange.
I want to know what went wrong. He just replies I should find cooler people than him. Unfortunately, I still like him so much and find him cool. He does not like to talk over the phone and simply refuses to meet. So I'm trying to understand if he hates me.
We both have realized in the past that we are so much of the same type and we have so much bonding. Is it hatred or just a small displeasure? So I'm just missing the clue. Do you think I should still pursue this or just drop it and move on. I've even stopped looking and I find it hard to just leave this person, whom I thought was a perfect match. I hope you can help.
Confused Soul.
Tenacious aren't you? Like a puppy who doesn't want to give up his bone, the puppy keeps the bone in tight grip and doesn't want to give up.
Love, just as in life has a cruel turn and twist. Reread your letter. I think you will find your answers. If not, here's my twist on it.
When something is new, it's great, romantic, and a challenge. In love, and war, one is the hunter, one is the hunted. Once the chase is gone, sometimes nothing of interest is left. The trick is not to bear your soul, not to give all the information, and leave alot of interest there.
Although true, I have found that if one person lives in the burbs, and the other in the city, the burb person doesn't like to commute for dates. Sometimes some people are lazy and just don't want to work for relationships. Then, of course, some just lose interest, or like a book, read the synopsis on the book jacket, and decided not to buy the book.
In any case, when I read you had a "skeptical" one month, you purchased the person a "valuable" gift, and you took the initiative to invite him over for dinner first, this planted questions in my mind immediately.
Don't look so hard, don't give out too much information about yourself, and don't fall so quickly for someone with so much immediate heartfelt generousity. They need to find you, pursue you, and figure you out.
People can be overwhelmed and feel smothered. Give them space, and give yourself some space. Move on, check out what "books" are "best sellers", read the book jacket and enjoy life and the "read".
Whatever you do, I suggest you release this guy from your thoughts and move on! You sound like you got it together, good luck and enjoy the spring.
Princess Darby
By submitting a letter to this website, you grant the GoPride Network permission to publish it on this site or elsewhere including print publications.
Your name and email address will never be included or distributed. Due to the large number of letters received, there is no guarantee that a question will be responded to.
GoPride Network advice columnists offer their opinions on a variety of subjects. They are expressing personal and professional opinions and views. These opinions or views are not intended to treat or diagnose; nor are they meant to replace the treatment and care that you may be receiving from a licensed physician or mental health professional.
GoPride Network and its advice columnists are not responsible for the outcome or results of following their advice in any given situation. You are completely responsible for your actions and GoPride and its contributors accepts no liability for any situation in your life past, present or future. GoPride reserve the right to edit letters for length and clarity.