For Ben Musa, coming out is a lifelong spiritual journey

CHICAGO, ILL. - By Michael Oboza, Special to GoPride.com

During my final year as a volunteer photojournalist, I made it my intentional mission to recognize everyday legends across our LGBTQ community.

I am grateful to help acknowledge someone who has been a Muslim writer, advocate and artist for more than thirty years. Thank you, Ben Musa, for your time, your legacy, and for sharing your art.

Reading books or traveling are ways to journey.

"I was becoming more aware of my sexuality and identity throughout high school. I suppressed it like most of my generation and continued to find ways to distract myself from the truth."

"After graduating high school, I decided to travel to Scotland, Italy, Tunisia and Egypt. Many family members lived overseas and I wanted to see the world from a different perspective."

"Surprisingly, what I discovered in Egypt was genuine male companionship. It provided an outlet to my sexual frustration. Bonding and holding each other socially was so different than the homophobic and toxic masculinity that I often experienced living in the suburbs of Houston, Texas."

"When I came back to Texas, I was already accepted to Texas A&M University in the spring of 1990. This was due to my dad’s insistence that I was not allowed to attend more liberal schools like the University of Texas. In his defense, after his visit, he apologized. He realized Aggie culture was a bit out there."

"In my first and second years at A&M, I did my best to cultivate a group of friends that again suppressed my need to face the reality of my sexuality. Being hired at the school paper helped me stay focused on getting more real-world experience as a journalism major."

"But as we all know, forgoing such emotional weight is a strain that creates all sorts of wild and uncharacteristic behaviors. Eventually, by the end of my sophomore year, I literally had a nervous breakdown and multiple blackout panic attacks."

"I finally was able to accept my queerness and found a new group of friends."

What begins often continues.

"Coming out was more like an explosion of suppressed emotions and thoughts that took me on many journeys. I did what typically a virgin at 23 to 24 would do: I experimented and discovered what I wanted in friendships and relationships."

"Now at the age of 55, my coming out continues. I realize that it will never end. It’s part of my spiritual journey as a Muslim and artist. The further I learn about my needs, my likes and my wants, the more I understand it’s interwoven into the fabric of my existence."

Advice from a seasoned advocate is worth its wisdom.

"Have grace with yourself. Try to be honest and fair with yourself. And more importantly, don't wait for change like my generation. Demand it now!"

"In the blink of an eye you will be 55, wondering how the world has turned upside down because you thought incremental change would make a difference. It doesn't!"

"Fight for all we expect and should have now! Equal rights! Equal pay! Equal love!"