Sat. January 1, 2000
When there are kids in the house both time and money can seem to be a barrier to romance. When you were dating and in the early years of your marriage the clock didn’t seem to race as quickly and the paycheck seemed to go a lot further. Now that you have children who take up much of your time and money, has the romance suffered?
Growing up with six sisters and dating dozens of women before I married my wonderful wife, I know that most women are not interested with what’s in a man’s wallet. They want him to share what’s in his heart and mind.
Since money is not an excuse for not being romantic, what about the lack of time? Here is a way many couples have successfully kept romance alive in their marriage even with a house full of children. Establish a date night. Preferably this should be in the middle of the week when both of you are in real need of a breather (this is true for people without children too).
If you can’t afford a baby-sitter, try to make an arrangement with a neighbor or a family member with offspring where you can trade off watching the children one night a week. Invest in a pager or cellular phone if the children are old enough to stay home alone for a few hours. That way you won’t be as nervous about leaving them on their own.
I know you probably think that you can’t afford a night off during the week. There is always so much work to be done. Relationships need work and time too and they should be near the top of your priority list!
Now that you have freed up an evening, how do you spend it? I think a good suggestion is to take turns planning your date night. You may want to set a budget for the whole month and either you can take four average costing dates or two cheap dates and two more costly ones each month. You can plan the date in secret or give each other suggestions. Whatever works with your lifestyle is best.
Now that you have made up your mind to initiate date night into your schedule, what will be your first cheap date? Of course, I will give you some suggestions. That’s my job.
- Stay at home and rent a movie, while eating homemade popcorn and snuggling on the sofa.
- Go to a coffeehouse and read poetry or silly short stories aloud to each other while you sip your java.
- Take your dinner to the park and then feed bread crusts to the ducks.
- Go to lovers lane, talk and smooch while listening to your favorite music.
- Buy one order of Chinese take-out. Make your own fried rice together. Eat by candlelight and with chopsticks.
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