Tue. July 24, 2007
"Honey, God loves everybody. It's human beings who mess things up," Tammy Faye Messner said to me as she placed her tiny frail hand in mine to give it a squeeze as we walked out of the movie theater. It was the premiere of her new documentary, which explored her life and recounted her battle with cancer. The words that she spoke in her high pitched Minnesota drawl were so simple, and yet, carried so much meaning. To Tammy Faye, all man was created equal no matter what their color, religion, gender or sexual orientation, and in her mind, not only was she not to judge other people, she was to accept them they way that God intended her to.
Tammy Faye Messner didn't judge people because she had walked in their shoes. Throughout her life she had been ridiculed, persecuted, made fun of and had been the butt of jokes. The joke, however, was on those who could not see past the wigs and pounds of makeup to the heart of an extraordinary woman who lived her life as best she could, mistakes and all, and gave people hope, enjoyment, and enlightenment.
Tammy Faye was born in International Falls, Minnesota to Pentecostal preachers Carl and Rachel Fairchild LaValley. The eldest of eight children, Tammy Faye was drawn to the church early in life and the choir began to nurture her passion for singing. During her college years, she met her soon to be husband Jim Bakker, who attended North Central Bible College and had plans to become a minister.
The couple was soon married and moved to the South where they were founding members off the 700 Club with ultra conservative Pat Robertson. Although their belief and faith in God and the church were strong, the right wing approach to persecution did not fit with Tammy Faye's religious philosophy, so she and her husband created their own ministry called PTL.
PTL began to flourish, and in harsh contrast to other evangelistic programs, Tammy Faye embraced homosexuals with compassion and acceptance. Her prayers were not to convert or change gay people, but were rather to help gay people be understood and accepted by the rest of the world.
In the mid eighties, scandal began to erupt when Jim Bakker resigned his ministry after his affair with former secretary Jessica Hahn was revealed on television. The controversy marked the end for the ministry, which suffered from bankruptcy and was eventually burned to the ground. The late Jerry Falwell, who had been eyeing the ministry in hope of securing a television deal later, bought it up. Tammy Faye's love and compassion was extremely different from Falwell's beliefs and the two had an ongoing feud for years after he took her home from under her feet. Tammy Faye, however, forgave Falwell before his death, to which he had no reply.
Jim Bakker went to prison for accounting fraud and left his wife and two children to fend for themselves. Tammy Faye became a national joke as bumper stickers and t-shirts were made depicting her as a fake, and the media crucified her image to the rest of the world. But in true Tammy Faye style, she accepted her fate and forgave the people around her who had betrayed her trust or had turned their backs on her. That's just the way Tammy Faye was, a bubbly embodiment of hope who could rise up to meet any challenge, and it was that quality that would make her a gay iconic figure.
She divorced and remarried Heritage USA contractor and church builder Roe Messner and she started a new chapter in her life. She joined forces with popular gay actor Jim J. Bullock, and the two co hosted a TV talk show entitled The Jim J. and Tammy Faye Show, and was the subject of a popular gay cult documentary called the Eyes of Tammy Faye. Her new image was one that gay culture accepted and her fan base continued to grow.
In her final interview with Larry King, Tammy was asked why she didn't have the same feeling toward gay people as some of her evangelistic contemporaries to which she explained, "Gay people have always supported me. When I was down, they were the only group who didn't turn on me," and it is because she didn't view gay people as being any different from any one else.
Her reign as a talk show queen was, unfortunately, short lived when she was diagnosed with colon cancer, and was forced to leave the show. Her 11-year battle with cancer would begin, and Tammy Faye, with God and the gays on her side, was ready for the challenge.
She was first diagnosed in 1996, and after an intensive operation, she went into remission. She would begin touring the country telling her story to others who were battling with cancer and her message was one of inspiration and hope.
A few years later, Messner announced that her cancer had returned and this time was in her lungs. It was inoperable, and again Tammy Faye turned her hands over to God and began chemotherapy.
World of Wonder produced a second documentary released through Lions Gate following her battle, entitled Tammy Faye: Death Defying. A few months later the treatment seemed to work, and Tammy Faye was once again in remission.
It was a warm sunny day in July when the film premiered at OutFest and I had the good fortune to meet Tammy Faye. I have worked for World of Wonder for a few other projects and was interested in meeting the woman who had survived not only cancer, but also infamy.
I was introduced to her and offered her my hand which she pushed aside and grabbed me around the waist for a huge hug. She grabbed my arm and began explaining to me about filming the movie as we marched into the packed theater. I sat next to the 5'1", 95 pound Tammy Faye and watched her watching her own film. Her face lit up every time she sang on screen, and she mouthed the words of scripture along with the film.
She would explain things about the film and how much she hated being shown without makeup. " I know people make fun of my make up, " she said, "but that's the way I like it."
Her spirit transcended the screen, and her image was witty, poignant and proud without an ounce of judgment or hate.
As the credits rolled, the audience, mostly of gay people since it was OutFest, rose to their feet and applauded the tiny woman who meant so much.
She walked to the stage and answered questions for the audience and was so gracious it was humbling. Here was a woman whose life had almost destroyed her so many times, and yet, she carried on with no animosity or bitterness at all. She spoke of God as a loving being, someone who understands and accepts. She spoke of the God that we remember from out childhood who doesn't judge and doesn't want other people to judge.
In her book, I Will Survive... And You Will Too, she made a plea for all people to "grant themselves permission to cast off the things that are holding them back, to forgive themselves and others, to be happy with themselves whoever they are, to persevere in the face of opposition, and to show each other unconditional love." For Tammy Faye those sentiments were not rhetoric, they were truth.
On July 20th 2007, Tammy Faye lost her ongoing battle with cancer and died in her home. At 65 years old this woman of God had accomplished and endured more than most people could fill in two lifetimes. She laughed in the face of defeat, and forgave those who had done wrong by her. It is that spirit and sensitivity that will be carried on, and hopefully will be remembered by those whose lives she touched. I know that God is in good company now. Thank you Tammy Faye, and Good-bye.
Written By Dylan Vox
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