Tue. January 25, 2011
After checking out the list of the 10 movies that were nominated for the Best Picture Academy Award this year, I've come to the conclusion that this just may be the gayest group of movies in Oscar history.
Let's take a look at the evidence.
1. The Kids Are All Right
Julianne Moore and Annette Bening play a married lesbian couple who each gave birth to a child using the same sperm donor. Throw in Mark Ruffalo as the biological father for some eye candy for gay men and everybody's happy.
2. Black Swan
A campy creepy psychological thriller about ballet dancers to satisfy the guys and a hot lesbian scene with Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis for the gals.
3. True Grit
Even at 61 with long gray hair, a scraggly beard, an eye patch, and not as fit as his younger days, Jeff Bridges is still hot. And as the 14 year-old, no-nonsense, tough-as-nails, lesbian-in-the-making Mattie Ross who's out to avenge her father's murder, Hailee Steinfeld is perfection.
4. The Fighter
A movie about 2 boxing brothers. Mark Wahlberg and Christian Bale. Shirtless.
5. The Social Network
Although his role was downplayed in the film, Chris Hughes, one of the co-founders of Facebook is openly gay and is estimated to be worth $100 million. What's hotter than that?
6. 127 Hours
94 minutes of James Franco.
7. The King's Speech
Colin Firth as a King with a stammer and Geoffrey Rush as his speech therapist. The men form a close bond that develops into a life-long intimate relationship. Not the least hint of any homosexual undertones, but if you just use your imagination…
8. Inception
Leonardo DiCaprio and Joseph Gordon-Levitt can access your unconscious mind and invade your dreams. Oh, the possibilities!
9. Winter's Bone
I haven't seen the movie and know nothing about it, but the title says it all.
10. Toy Story 3
OK, even I was having a hard time finding a gay connection. A closeted Ken doll? A character named Woody? Jessie the Yodeling Cowgirl a lesbian? So to help me out I took to the internet and discovered this thread from the Landover Baptist Church that claims that watching Toy Story 3 makes kids gay.
Landover is actually a fictional Baptist Church meant to parody extremely conservative right wing evangelical churches that condemn homosexuality and find the gay agenda creeping into most of main stream secular America. Take a look at the thread. It may not be real, but it's real funny.
And let's not forget James Franco and Anne Hathaway are hosting the show on February 27th. We'll have a gay old time!
Related: Lesbian parenting film ‘The Kids Are All Right' gets 4 Oscar nominations
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