Wed. November 4, 2026
CHICAGO, ILL. -
By Michael Oboza, Special to GoPride.com
During my final year as a volunteer photojournalist, I made it my mission to recognize everyday legends across our LGBTQ community. Thank you, Audry Farber, for your time, legacy and sharing your lived experience.
For Audry Farber, the path toward self-understanding started in an era when resources and affirming spaces were nearly impossible to find.
"I have been expressing my female gender starting in my youth," Farber recalls. "I always knew the need for feminine expression was there, but I fought it tenaciously. Living for most of my life without Google, there was no conclusion to be drawn other than that who I am was wrong."
Without a vocabulary or visible community to lean on, overcoming internal doubt became a decades-long endeavor.
"There was nowhere to go where it would be said that it was right," Farber says. "Self-acceptance was the biggest challenge in my journey. I still struggle sometimes. I did find the transgender community in 1993. I have been involved with a support group since then. It has made all the difference."
Sometimes birthdays are their own celebration
Stepping out beyond that support group into daily life has been a gradual process, marked by both family tensions and moments of public grace.
"I am dual-gender," Farber explains. "I have been coming out to the world slowly. I started with friends about 12 years ago. They remained friends, but there are still friends on my wife’s side that she does not want to know about me. How could they not know? I express my male self and my female self. Because of that, I have family who think that I should not express my female side. They are protecting their children from the confusion that I will cause. It is hard not to internalize that. But when I am out in the world, I find affirmation."
That affirmation recently took center stage during a milestone gathering surrounded by a supportive faith and social community.
"I just threw myself a birthday party, my first birthday party, and had more than 100 people there, many from my church," Farber shares. "All of them were there to show support for me and my journey."
Authenticity and genuineness speak for themselves
Reflecting on the balance between personal safety and living openly, Farber offers practical encouragement to others navigating their own timelines.
"Live your life as your true self, unless at this point in your life it will mean harm to you," Farber advises. "Then, as you get older and more independent, make the necessary changes to your life."
While acknowledging the real costs that can come with visibility, Farber maintains that the reward of living honestly is unmatched.
"There will be resistance. There may be loss. Be ready," Farber concludes. "I have suffered loss, but I have never regretted living as my true self. It is so freeing, exhilarating. People will respond to your genuineness."
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