Fri. September 11, 2026
CHICAGO, ILL. -
By Michael Oboza, Special to GoPride.com
During my final year as a volunteer photojournalist, I set out to recognize remarkable individuals across our intersectional LGBTQ community. Among them is Bren Tran, an artist and comedian who generously shared his humor, art, and ongoing journey.
For Bren Tran, navigating identity often meant prioritizing survival over openness.
"I think I didn't really truly come out until after college, before that I was somewhat able to avoid the whole thing all together," Tran said. "I was never in a relationship. I never talked about my sexual interests. I didn't even have my first kiss until shortly after I graduated. I hid behind my studies, because I was in pretty academically challenging schools. So whenever the topic came up of who I was dating, I would say, 'I don't have time for that, I have a midterm tomorrow' or something like that."
That academic armor gave him cover, even as quiet assumptions lingered in the background.
"No one really ever questioned me that much about it, which was nice, although I think on some level, people were starting to assume," Tran said. "It was a little exhausting, keeping the secret up. I think I was most scared of my family finding out and if I told anyone that word would eventually get back to them.
"Did I long for a man to discover my secret and pull me out of the closet and into his arms? Yes," he added. "I had a million unrequited crushes, and that was very difficult. One of them actually was my college roommate. I eventually told him that I had a crush on him and he politely let me down. We are still friends today, though, and the crush is long dead."
Setting personal boundaries helped Tran transform that journey into something sustainable. Post-college life brought a sudden rush of self-exploration and late-blooming milestones.
"I went through a small hoe phase. I went out to the gay clubs, I was trying to have so much sex and I did!" Tran said. "I learned a lot about sex, probably things I should've learned earlier in my life. I remember one particular guy who was very verbal and told me I was doing things wrong which really helped me grow as a sexual partner. I've since ended my hoe phase, although I've still never had a boyfriend. That's fine. I'm fine."
Finding his footing in the creative world became a turning point.
"I started doing improv comedy, which is generally a very welcoming community for queer people," Tran said. "I felt free to be myself and sometimes even celebrated for my gayness. Over the years, I've even developed my gay voice. Being in comedy and talking about my experiences on stage, I inevitably start to become somewhat of a gay spokesperson. I use my comedy to educate people on prep, poppers, and the don't say gay policy. I want to say I am much more comfortable being gay now, although the coming out journey never ends."
Today, Tran approaches disclosure intentionally, using openness to signal solidarity while maintaining protective lines where needed.
"Whenever I meet someone new, I generally try to make it known that I am gay just so that they know they're safe," he said. "There are some spaces where I'm still not out really. One of those is at my work, because I separate work from my personal life. I feel it is unimportant for people at work to know what I do when I close my laptop. I am also not fully out to my family.
"I have this idea that when I come out to them, it has to be worth it (i.e. I bring home a man that will win them over), otherwise I don't know why they would need to know," Tran said. "These are boundaries I'm comfortable with for now, but who knows, that may change in the future."
That hard-won perspective extends to challenging rigid cultural scripts within queer culture itself.
"Sometimes there feels like there is a right way to be gay. It looks like going to circuit parties, wearing only a jock strap, watching RuPaul's Drag Race, having the perfect body and so on and so forth," Tran said. "But I think you have to find the right way for your gay."
Confronting racial dynamics in dating also pushed him to reframe his own sense of belonging.
"Asian guys are the least desired in the dating world and that is especially true in the gay community," Tran said. "I often found myself thinking that if only I were more 'like x y z,' maybe I'd be more desired and that I'd be more accepted in the gay community. I realized that I was allowing the community to make me feel uncomfortable.
"So now, if I'm in a gay space and I feel tension from others because I don't exactly fit in, then I say to myself that this situation is uncomfortable, but I certainly won't allow myself to be the one feeling discomfort."
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