Wed. September 9, 2026
CHICAGO, ILL. -
By Michael Oboza, Special to GoPride.com
I am grateful to give Bradley Setter his flowers.
A recipient of the Benjamin P. Hyink Student Leader of the Year Award, the Windy City Times 30 Under 30 Award, and the Roosevelt University Distinguished Alumni Award, the U.S. Marine Corps veteran sat down to share his journey from surviving under "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" to thriving as an advocate, storyteller, and creator.
Surviving a moment at a time
"I grew up in Eastpointe, Michigan, formerly East Detroit, from 1989 to 2007," Setter said. "Back then, I learned early how to keep parts of myself quiet, not because I wanted to, but because it felt safer. I didn't always have the language to describe who I was, but I knew what could happen if I stood out too much."
That silence followed him into military service.
"That feeling intensified when I served in the U.S. Marines during 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell,'" he recalled. "It's hard to explain how stressful it is to live in a place where being honest about your identity can cost you everything. Before I came out, much of life felt like just getting through the day: staying focused, staying useful, trying not to be noticed in the wrong way, and carrying a lot of it alone."
Telling the story only you can tell
Stepping into his truth proved to be a turning point.
"Coming out didn't fix everything overnight, but it did change my life's direction," Setter said. "It gave me room to breathe and helped me stop living as if I were split in half."
After leaving the military, Setter moved to Chicago and immersed himself in student organizing and grassroots advocacy, centering his efforts on LGBTQ rights and the push for marriage equality.
"That time taught me something I still believe: Visibility isn't just personal. Sometimes it's how you help the next person feel like they're not alone," he said.
With greater self-assurance came a renewed focus on creative expression.
"For me, creativity isn't just an added bonus. It's essential for how I understand life and connect with others," Setter explained. "It also plays a crucial role in building community spirit, allowing us to share truth in a way that resonates emotionally and inspires others to envision a brighter future."
That passion led him to co-host Parklandia, a national parks travel podcast produced in partnership with iHeartMedia.
"It was a very different kind of visibility than organizing, but it still felt connected to the same purpose: telling stories, making space for people to breathe, and reminding folks there's a bigger world out there than whatever box they've been put in," he said. "Life after coming out has been more honest. More grounded. Still complicated sometimes, but it feels like I'm actually living my life instead of trying to survive it."
Setter noted that his public honors, including the Windy City Times 30 Under 30 recognition, reflect what became possible once he lived openly.
"When I became myself, the world started to see what I could accomplish, and I've tried to keep doubling down on becoming who I'm meant to be," he said.
A work in progress
When asked what wisdom he offers to others navigating their own identities, Setter pointed to self-acceptance, community, and the power of personal history.
"First, don't let anyone convince you that you're 'too much.' You're not a problem to solve. Find the people who make you feel more like yourself, not less. Chosen family is real," he said. "Second, don't underestimate your story, even if it feels messy or unfinished. Being honest about what you've lived through can become a map for someone else and a reminder for yourself. And hold onto what keeps you here: your joy, your creativity, your people, whatever it is. Protect that with everything you have."
For Setter, the journey remains ongoing.
"I spent a long time learning how to stay quiet and stay safe, and it took years to unlearn that. In reflection, maybe I am still trying to unlearn that," he said. "Coming out didn't erase what I went through, but it gave me my life back. It turned a lot of fear into clarity, and eventually into community. I'm still a work in progress, but I'm grateful I don't have to live split in half anymore, and I try to use what I've lived through and what I create to make it a little easier for the next person."
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