Before You Know It (Untitled Films/ITVS), filmmaker PJ Raval's second full-length doc (his first was the trans doc Trinidad), introduces us to Dennis, Robert and Ty, three seniors navigating the bumpy landscape of being gay and gray in America. All three men live in different parts of the country and their experiences are as unique as they are. Raval creates a patchwork quilt of their stories, interweaving their lives over the course of the doc.
Dennis, in his late 70s, lives in a Niceville, Florida trailer park with, as he puts it, "retired people and meth lab operators." In his younger days he was on the cover of a racquetball magazine and had a 28 inch waist. His closet contains not only his old air force uniform, but also his array of women's garments. A cross-dressing widower (he was married to a woman), Dennis goes by Dee in drag.
Seeking more of a community, Dennis divides his time between the LGBT Rainbow Vista senior living community in Portland, Oregon and Niceville. In Florida, Dennis is not out to his family and is afraid of being disowned, even at his age. In Orgeon, he can be more himself, taking part in a group discussion at Rainbow Village, going on a gay cruise, riding on a float in drag in the pride parade at 78.
Although he had planned to keep his house in Florida, his trailer is ruined by water damage and mold, forcing him to cuts ties there. But with his newfound community at Rainbow Village, Dennis has found himself to be valued. As he puts it, "everybody wants to be loved and appreciated" at every age.
Ty lives in New York, in Harlem to be precise. He works as an Outreach Manager at SAGE, a job that gives him purpose as assists gay men over 60 who wanted some community in Harlem. Ty and his partner Stanton are old friends who became a couple. Their relationship gets some extra attention as the passage of the New York marriage bill occurred during the making of the doc.
Ty talks about the changes that have occurred within the gay community in Harlem. The attitude towards LGBT folks, for instance, has changed for the worse. The devastating impact of HIV/AIDS on the LGBT community in the '80s also figures prominently. But there are also plenty of reasons to celebrate, including the marriage of Gary & James that Ty and Stanton attend, not to mention the celebratory mood of the first Pride parade following the passage of the marriage bill. If anything, Ty's story illustrates that being gay and grey in a big city is easier than elsewhere.
Robert, 73, in Galveston, Texas is a good example of that. AKA Robert The Mouth, the Ugliest Girl in the South (he has an opinion about everything, wrong or right), Robert owns the bar Robert's Lafitte, which has been in business for more than 40 years and regularly features popular drag shows. Robert shops at garage sales to feed his addiction to Hawaiian shirts. A pillar of the community, Robert hosts a thanksgiving potluck at his bar.
Robert's health is in decline and he has his gay nephew running the bar for the most part. Hal, Robert's partner of 35 years died of a stroke at 65 and Robert has been alone since then. Also weighing heavily on his mind is a drunk driving accident and lawsuit involving one of his patrons that could cost Robert Lafitte's. Nevertheless, Robert makes sure to celebrate Mardi Gras with his staff and patrons. The good news for Robert, who is not content to sit at home and waste away, is that he survives the lawsuit. As Robert puts it, most people don't think about getting older when they're young, but as the title says, it creeps up on you "before you know it." ( Reeling 31: The Chicago LGBT International Film Festival screens Before You Know It at Block Cinema/ Mary & Leigh Block Museum of Art at 2:30 p.m. on Nov. 9.)
Ira Sachs' Leave The Lights On was last year's gay drug drama and Meth Head (Film McQueen/Triangle Road) is this year's model. But where the superior Leave The Lights On took a less judgmental approach, Meth Head comes off like one of those anti-drug movies they show to school kids (but with a lot more gay sex).