Growing pains and pains in the neck

In Someday This Pain Will Be Useful To You (Film Buff), based on the acclaimed Y/A novel by Peter Cameron, resourceful 17 year old James (Toby Regbo) begins by admitting that he "doesn't like to talk that much, hates politics, organized religion and all that" as he contemplates a New York City rooftop suicide. Below, in the apartment he shares with his sister Gillian (Deborah Ann Woll) and his unlucky in love, drama queen, gallery-owner mother Marjorie (Marcia Gay Harden), James does his best to be an obedient son.

Lunch with his vain father, Paul (Peter Gallagher), doesn't go any smoother, especially after Paul asks James if he's gay. Not to mention that he describes James as "not the most normal of all kids," following an incident in Washington DC (which gets expanded on later in the film). As James tries to determine "what's the big deal with normal," most of the adults in his life aren't setting the best examples. Gillian's older, married, college prof boyfriend is putting her through changes. Marjorie's third almost ex-husband Barry (Stephen Lang) has a serious gambling problem (although he's aware that he messed up).

Searching for stability, James goes to the country to visit his grandmother Nanette (Ellen Burstyn) who encourages him to pursue his passion. But when his passion turns out to be John (Gilbert Owuor), Marjorie's gay gallery manager with whom James chats online under an assumed name (unbeknownst to John), things backfire in a serious way.

Even though James was hesitant to meet with Rowena (Lucy Liu), the psychotherapist/life coach Marjorie sends him to, she turns out to be the most stabilizing influence in his life. She gets James to confront the events that led up to his meltdown in Washington DC and to take his future more seriously.

You have to feel badly for poor Peter Cameron. One of the best and most original contemporary gay novelists, his books have a cinematic quality, which is probably why titles such as The Weekend and The City of Your Final Destination have been made into movies. But, like the aforementioned films, Someday This Pain Will Be Useful to You isn't up to its original source material. Someday This Pain... wastes a terrific cast and reduces a delightful novel to an utterly forgettable movie. DVD special features include a music video and photo gallery.

For The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 (Summit), the fifth and final installment of the tedious and toothless Twilight series, acclaimed gay filmmaker Bill Condon (Gods & Monsters, Dreamgirls) returns to salvage (or is that savage?) the remains of the story. The best that can be said about The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 is that it's finally over.

Now that newlyweds and new parents Bella (Kristen Stewart who still can't act, even if her afterlife depended on it) and Edward (Robert Pattinson) are "the same temperature," they are settling into domesticity. Newly minted vamp Bella, much stronger now than Edward, has to be careful not to break him. First she has to get her thirst under control by hunting.

Just as one of Bambi's descendants is about to get it in the woods, Bella develops a taste for the human blood of a mountain climber, but is ultimately sated with a mountain lion. This must be the vampire version of going to the Old Country Buffet.

Director Condon, again, wisely makes sure that Jacob (Taylor Lautner) and his impressive pecs appear within the first ten minutes so as not to lose his queer audience altogether. Bella, however, is not as thrilled to see Jacob. After recovering from the life-threatening delivery of her baby and finally being introduced to her CGI-generated daughter Renesmee, a two-day old with an incredible growth rate (hello hair and teeth!), Bella becomes enraged with Jacob. Not only does she not approve of his having imprinted on Nessie (as Jacob calls her), but the fact that he nicknamed her daughter after the Loch Ness Monster, causes her to lose it. But soon all is forgiven.

While in their new home, Bella and Edward make good use of the bedroom, in spite of the fact that vampires don't sleep (get it?). Meanwhile, the townsfolk of Forks, including Bella's father Charlie (Billy Burke), think something went terribly wrong in childbirth. The Cullen clan makes plans to split before everyone else realizes she's a bloodsucker. In an effort to explain things to Charlie, Jacob disrobes (hallelujah!) and transforms in to a wolf before his eyes. Bella and the Cullens don't approve of his methods and Bella must put on an act to convince Charlie she's not undead.

With the aid of voiceover narration by Bella (such as the profound "my time as a human was over, but I never felt more alive"), which is meant to streamline the action but only serves to muddle, we learn that the Cullen's ancient enemies/rivals the Volturi accept Bella's new status. Also, there is some concern over the rapid growth and aging of Renesmee (Mackenzie Foy), unstable cousin Irina (Maggie Grace) changes her mind about reconciling with the Cullens and stirs things up with the Volturi about Renesme, and the Volturi plan to come for the Cullens to avenge an old slight.

Armies gather – the Cullens recruit 18 vampires from across the globe for their team, while the Volturi, led by Aro (Michael Sheen) amass their tribes. Jacob enlists his own pack of wolves. The day of the showdown arrives and in spite of being shown that the half human/half vampire Renesmee is not immortal, tensions mount. But an impending earth-shattering battle for dominance isn't nearly as terrifying as the creepy and perverse vision of the future, involving a grown-up Renesmee and Jacob. It's too easy to say that The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 sucks, even if it does. Instead of going out with class and style the way the Harry Potter series did, the sun doesn't so much set on Twilight as it slinks away in shame. Special features on the double disc DVD include digital and ultraviolet formats, audio commentary, a making-of doc, and best of all, a "Jump To Jacob" feature.