Thu. July 5, 2007
By Bill Pritchard
As of late, I've had a number of conversations about dating. I really think that many of us have forgotten what a date is. It's more than hanging out it's getting to know someone. When was the last time you went on a date? Before people start to write me about their lack of interested people, please keep in mind that I am attempting to challenge you to a new idea and not in your ability to get a date. (This article is my opinion and one that I know is different than what most people's opinions are!)
Some people base the role of boyfriend or girlfriend on one evening. In my opinion, it's wise to take the time and invest in getting to know someone before that title is given. Find out what their goals, dreams, joys and struggles are. Webster defines intimacy as knowing someone and being known deeply. With that definition, one could say that "being intimate" takes on a whole new meaning. My parents and I are very intimate and yet there is no link to romance there. Wait a moment! What was that word I just used? Romance! Could it be that some today don't know what this means either? Just days ago, I had a friend say to me that he was looking forward to being "wooed" by his resent date. Could it be that he is looking for that breath taking, temperature raising, heart pounding thrill that romance can be?
Intimacy takes time and cannot be fabricated. My former boyfriend and I were friends way before we were boyfriends. The term "fell in love" really applied to us as we enjoyed each others company long before we enjoyed a kiss. We dated for quite some time and when we felt like we needed to go in different directions in our lives, our friendship remained. He knows me and I know him deeply. To this day, I can still read him like a book. Most times we don't even have to say a word, and we'll know what the other is thinking. We've worked really hard to know each other. That can't be made up. Sure, an evening of conversation and pouring your heart out to someone can be quite intense, but it's only one small part of a new friendship. Wouldn't you like to have that type of boyFRIEND or girlFRIEND?
Perhaps on your next date you can look for opportunities to get to know the other person rather than looking for the hookup later. I am not judging those that go that direction, rather I am offering a different approach. With as many people as I hear from on a weekly basis saying to me that they would like to find something real and from the heart; I think it may be time for a real change in how we as the LGBT community operate! For those of you in a relationship, maybe it's time to spice things up a bit with a touch of romance. The charm and joy one feels when they're being romanced is awesome. That translates into the bedroom as well!
I know that I sound a bit preachy. These happen to be my opinions. You may have a different one. I respect that more than you know! I guess I have been saddened by the number of folks that have come up to me looking for something more in this area. My thought is that there is something more and it's worth the time and effort to make it happen. I welcome your thoughts!
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