Fri. October 7, 2005
By Jason Paul
I've always had this dream of being a sport's fan matron. She's the older lady who sits on the sidelines, legs spread in a sundress, sunglasses tilted off the ridge of her nose while sipping on lemonade. She claims she's just a big fan of the game, but really she's only there to ogle the athletes. Yet how do I do this without needing to shave my legs or get beaten up? No worries ladies! Chicago has a plethora of LGBT leagues perfect for people like us!
Is Rugby your game? This British pass the ball backward and run in short shorts sport is quite popular amongst the local pink players. So much so the Logo Network did a documentary on the Chicago Dragons, The Windy City's own "underrepresented" rugby team. It's a cute show. In it, you can watch the athletes talk camaraderie, trick out and tease poor teammate Jeremy Begy while trying to win a game. Checking out their game and practice schedule at ChicagoDragons.org, this was definitely something I needed to see for myself, and attended one of their recent practices.
Partially expecting a coffee clutch, discussing recent fashion trends and a gossipy forum of who did who, all under the guise of sport, I was immediately shown different. These dudes are fierce! With extensive calisthenics and hard-core practice plays, someone even yelled, "Hoo Haa!" I broke a sweat just watching them -- even if teammate Mark Byrne ran like a girl -- who later expressed to me, panting while removing his mouth guard, "Being a plus-sized fashion model isn't all it's cracked up to be."
"No, it clearly isn't," I agreed -- Not that I know anything about that.
After two hours of practice, the team was weary. Soaked in sweat and drinking water by the gallon, they grunted load moans of exhaustion and relief. It was hot! Yet they still found time to tease Jeremy, who, due to a back injury, wasn't able to take part. Oh, poor Jeremy...
Most people find a certain degree of fallacy with gays in sports. However, if you consider the notion of taking hold of a long phallic symbol and knocking some balls around, it's not that far of a stretch. In fact, it just isn't played up enough. Had the Chicago Gay Hockey Association used this to their advantage, perhaps using the tag phrase, "Go puck yourself!" they might've gotten way more hits at ChicagoGayHockey.org, and wouldn't be in danger of losing their domain name.
I'm just saying.
(View The Photo Spread: Chicago Dragon's Practice)
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