March 26, 2008

Don't jump the gun and shoot love in the foot

BY Darling Darby ("Ask Darby")

Dear Princess Darby,

I like a colleague of mine very much but I don't know if she's gay or not.

We don't work on the same team and have limited interactions at work. Recently, I am going to leave the firm. I hope to reach out to her.

Is it appropriate to write to her work e-mail? If so, how shall I write it? I don't know her personal e-mail address.

Thanks, Marina.

Dear Marina,

First, good luck to you on your future career move! From the tone and structure of your letter, you are logical, methodical, and considerate. All the qualities an employer, friend, and partner require.

Although you have limited contact with her at work, you still have contact. Every relationship starts out with a qiet "hello". Quiet observations give you the oppor6unity to get a read on her. The operative word is quiet.

In regards to the your next move to contact your colleague, I suggest a farewell gathering and invite her. If you have already moved on, then I suggest a gathering to see your old colleagues and ivite her. You'll be able to mingle and hookup with her. Using a smile with a few questions will give you the answers you seek.

But, don't move too fast! Find a mutual interest she has and adopt it. Suggest a future meeting, you'll be able to get email and phone number.

Don't jump the gun, you may shoot love in the foot! In other words, don't try too quckly to find out if she's gay. Start out Slowly, and wait for the results. If anything, you may end up with a great friend which at times is better than a lover...but is required in a partner. But, that's another story.

Let me know how your new career move works out. Good luck Marina!

Princess Darby


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