Dear Princess Darby,
I'm a gay man from the suburbs who's not entirely "out" due to work and family. I think my family would be somewhat understanding, but am not sure of work.
I'd like to be "out" so I can meet more gay people and actually have some friends who I can relate to. When would you advise is the best time, or the right time, to make the leap and just say "f* the job!" and find a new job that might be more supporting?
Thanks,
Hoping to leave the closet
Dear Hoping,
I read your letter, and from the tone, it sounds like you have your change under control.
I use the word control in the sense that you are in charge of your life. You have the power to direct your logic, enerby and emotions to who you want to be, where you want to go, and with whom you want to be. There are only two "w" words that would complete this change. When do you want to do this, and what do you want to do.
Whether you are here or on the moon, the changes you will pass through may be challenging and you may try to second guess yourself. It's great that you have friends that support you. It's possible family members will accept the true you.
You have to look mirror every day and be at peace and happy within yourself. But, you need to do this slowly and wiselly. First, I subbest you see a counselor or therapist for professional guidance. They will work this out with you.
Second, I would really think twice about changing jobs immediately. Business does not have a heart. Think of it as a divorce making changes. Possibly a new lifestyle, friends, environment, and a new job down the road. You want to be in a strong, solid, work environment, since you have only yourself to depend on. (I presume you are not married, that would change the complexion of the situation).
Be patient, be smart, and be kind, to yourself and the love ones you share yourself with. This is your metamorphosis that you will be experiencing. You will eventually fly out of your cocoon, but do so naturally. You don't want broken wings on your first flight out in the world.
Happy Spring Butterfly! Please keep me abreast of your metamorphosis.
Princess Darby
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