Dear Princess Darby,
I am a realtivly new transplant to this great city (1yr) and I moved here to start anew after my 2.5 yr relationship amicably ended.
Princess, my question is this. After a year of living apart and after picking up the pieces of my already disarrayed life, I have finally come to the conclusion that I'm going to be ok.
But I was hoping you could answer why my thoughts always seem to linger back to him and our life, I mean I understand that I'll never want to not think fondly about that part of my life, but my thoughts are constantly lingering in the past and I have made a good future and start at my life here.
I'm dating and I have new friends and I'm sucessful at work. I've heard the old "you must have unfinished emotional business to take care of" speech but quite honestly I think its something else, and I can't seem to figure it out. could you possibly give me some advice as to what you may think it is?
Sincerely,
Trying to move on
Dear Trying To Move On,
Is there some heavy baggage someone is taking with them moving out of a past relationship? They say "time heals all". Two and a half years is not a lot of time. But, what is time? A moment, an instant, a blink of an eye, a lifetime? One can't measure matters of the heart against a calendar of days.
It's healthy to "move on", as long as you are not running away. Reread your letter. Have you read between the lines?
What was the catalyst that started the end of your relationship? Who decided that the relationship ended "amicably"? How do you know it "ended amicably"? How do you know that you will be "okay"? Why wouldn't you think "fondly" of that time or person in your life? Hou much time do you think it takes before you are ready to start over?
Only you can answer your own heart. People, experiences, and places have great impact on us. Our experiences and past relationships build the platform for the growth and the blueprints for the future and who we are today. These memories, good or bad are part of us. Perhaps a part of you, of the 912.5 days is still with you.
There are thousands of minutes, hours, days, and years ahead of you. Maybe during that time you will want to linger back in time, of 912.5 days past.
Enjoy your life, the past, present, and future. Unpack those bags and leave them. We only live once. And live it for yourself. By the way, don't forget to buy new luggage.
Princess Darby
By submitting a letter to this website, you grant the GoPride Network permission to publish it on this site or elsewhere including print publications.
Your name and email address will never be included or distributed. Due to the large number of letters received, there is no guarantee that a question will be responded to.
GoPride Network advice columnists offer their opinions on a variety of subjects. They are expressing personal and professional opinions and views. These opinions or views are not intended to treat or diagnose; nor are they meant to replace the treatment and care that you may be receiving from a licensed physician or mental health professional.
GoPride Network and its advice columnists are not responsible for the outcome or results of following their advice in any given situation. You are completely responsible for your actions and GoPride and its contributors accepts no liability for any situation in your life past, present or future. GoPride reserve the right to edit letters for length and clarity.