Dear Princess Darby,
I am in love with my best friend, who has been with me through thick and thin. Every time I'm hanging out with her I feel like kissing her.
Every few weeks she changes girlfriends and tells me every single detail about their sex life. Every time she thinks she's in love with a girl I know is wrong for her, she gets hurt and ends up crying on my shoulder.
I don't know what to do anymore. I can't sit around and watch her go through these girls who only end up hurting her. How do I get her to realize what is in front of her?
Wet Shoulder.
Sunday, August 8, 2004
Dear Wet Shoulder,
Ouch! This revolving door of lovers your "best friend" is going through as to cut deep and often through you and your relationship! Your heart and your shoulders must be aching from the weight of seeing her with others, and consoling her after each breakup.
My questions to you are: How long have you been in love with your "best friend"? How long do you think this going to last? Why would you want this person who goes through girlfriends like water?
Rework the meaning of "best friend". The word is best defined as "most excellent, or desirable kind". Friend is defined as "a person with whom one enjoys mutual affection and regard, (exclusive of sexual or family bonds,)...sympathizer".
Have you ever asked her why she forms intimate relationships so quickly, and ends them just as fast? Or, why do you think she hasn't seen you in the same light as a partner/lover? Now, perhaps you should look up the words: lover, partner, respect, and use.
It sounds like you are her stability and reinforcement, her strong "shoulder" that may be getting too much of a workout. Be careful, you may strain a muscle! If you still wish to have an intimate committed relationship with her, then you have the option to discuss this with her. If you wish to continue this unhealthy situation, then you are condoning her behavior. You are giving her permission to continue this patern of involving you.
Either way, do you think you will be happy in the long run? The revolving door you both are going through can go backwards or forwards. It reflects the mirror image of your relationship, it can also halt and jolt you into a quick and painful stop, or it could just breakdown with overuse of "friendship".
Do you think this revolving door will ever redesign the separations between you both, and become one single door for both of you to enter and exit together?
Relax, enjoy the summer, there's so much out there waiting for you!
Princess Darby
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