Lately, I've been going on a ton of dates with all types of guys; some great, some alright, some bad, and some I'd rather be dining in Hell with the Prince of Darkness. Dating is such a hands-on way of learning about what you like, what you don't like, and what you want out of a mate and even yourself at times. Therefore, I thought I'd combine what I learned over my dating history and put together a list of do's and don'ts for dating. And always remember, you can never go wrong with being yourself.
Going Dutch is just Low Budget.
I don't care how old or who's what in bed. If you initiated the date and asked the guy out to dinner, pay up and be smooth about it. It's always a good touch to have the server already take your credit card and apply all the charges before the bill actually comes to the table. That way, both of you can avoid that awkward moment of when the check comes and slowly reaching for your wallet secretly hoping the other guy will tell you to not worry about it – ish! That is just low budget not to mention low rent. That way you can just sign off on all the charges and continue what is hopefully an intriguing conversation.
Cheers is a TV show and Should Remain That Way.
DO NOT go to a place where everyone knows your name. Your first initial dates should be on common ground. Although this may seem like a good idea at first, you run the risk of running into the town's gossip queen (which would be infringing on Hook-up Rule #3, please see my top ten rules of Hooking Up), a jealous ex, or even worst a jaded past hook-up. Let the other guy know you put some thought into your date because if you're on a first name basis with the bartender and the manager is coming by the table asking about your parents, then any guy with half a brain knows you chose the place because you're probably getting a discount, which brings me to rule #3.
Groupon, Livingsocial, Youswoop, and any other online deals/certificates are to only be used with your friends and family, not your date.
Going to a nice or even a fairly decent restaurant with your date and redeeming an online deal to the server (I'm literally shaking right now) is sort of like going to a high-end clothing store or boutique and inquiring about layaway – You just DON'T DO IT. If times are that rough then either reschedule your date or go to a place that is more sensitive to your wallet. This just flat out looks cheap and it will leave a bad taste in your date's mouth. Not to mention, he will go back and tell his friends, and not in a good way. Please help yourself. Such online deals are completely okay to use AFTER you're in a committed relationship with him.
The Morning After the Date Should Not Be Spent Looking for Your Panties.
Sorry fellas, this rule applies to guys too, not just women. I don't care how hot he is or much you're into him, do not have sex with him after any of your first initial dates. If you're looking for a bed buddy, then by all means, drop em. However, if you want a boyfriend, then please keep them on, even if you have to use some duck tape. I'm not saying you have to be the great Mount Everest challenge, but at least make him work for something. As I have said time and time again, guys like challenges and anything that's easy….well we've all seen the last queens left at an after-hours bar during the weekend. Don't be one of them.
He's Not Your Therapist.
I don't care if you've had the day from Hell or even if your mom's hair caught on fire hours before your date, if he asks about your day, LIE about it! Put a smile on your face, a perk in that step, and be fun. No one likes a date who's always talking about their sucky job, how their mom never breast fed them, or any other problem that can't be solved with a visit to the therapist and stiff one (take that as you like it, hehe) Always be positive, charming, and above all do it with a smile on your face. Be a normal person and cry about your problems to your friends.
Always Be a Gentleman.
Chivalry isn't just for women. Everybody likes a gentleman and manners go a long ways. Say please, say thank you, dress nicely, and always look your date in the eyes when you guys are conversing. Even if your date has Jersey Shore class, still remain a gentleman, order something light, and conveniently remember your early morning conference call. Even if it doesn't work out, you always want your date to be able to say nothing but positive things about you.
This Ain't Happy Hour.
Don't get dunk. It is just so obnoxiously not okay to get smashed during any of your initial first dates. Moreover, this just sends a bad message to your date – alcoholics anonymous much? Personally, I like to put myself on a two- drink maximum or whatever works best for you. Keep the shots in Lil John's song and out of your date.
Don't Talk About Past Hook-ups.
Ew…in fact double ew. Talking or addressing past hook-ups in any way is just tacky. Until you're in a committed relationship with your date, your past sex life should remain private. Also, discussing any sexual roles during your date is equally as tacky. I mean, if you were cruising and/or flirting the right way, then you should know by now, right? Also, talking about your past hook-ups, who did what, how they did it, and where he's working at now just sends the message that you're just looking for sex, and I mean, that's what certain bath houses are for anyways.
Absolutely No Grindr or any other "networking" mobile app.
If you're that hard up for sex that you have to give the ole Grindr a go during your date, then there are some serious problems. Your attention should be focused on him and what he's saying not the hot guy sitting across the restaurant that you've been geo-tracking for about an hour.
Follow up, Follow up, Follow up!
If you like him, be brave and let me know! Send him a cute text telling him how much you enjoyed yourself the day after the date or hell even make plans for another date with him. Passive aggressiveness will get you nowhere other then frustration and impatience. And if the feeling isn't mutual, well no one has ever died from not scoring another date. If it really bothers you that much, no one has to know other then you, him, and your cell phone provider – plus you could always lie to your friends and say that he tried to go dutch on the date with you, :).