I am a 28 year old women who is slowly coming to the conclusion that I am really a lesbian.
I have dated several men and none have evolved into a serious relationship. I am attracted to women both physically and emotionally.
I am having a difficult time coming out of the closet. What do you suggest I do? Do you find this is a common dilemma?
Life is too short to agonize over who we really are. Your letter sounds like you have it together, but you want confirmtion on your feelings and decisions. That you can control and do yourself.
The word dilemma means "situaltion in which a choice has to be made between alternatives that are both undesirable." Which is desirable or undesirable?
When you said you have dated "several" men, how many is that" 10, 20, 30? How long term have these relationships been? More important, have these been wise choices, or selections waiting for failure? Why weren't these relationships satisfying?
Being 28 years old is young, and women today make commitments and marry later in life. So, 28 isn't exactly ancient, nor does it mean that you have or have not tons of experience to make judgements on your sexuality.
Only you know how you feel, and what's in your heart. Be comfortable with your feelings. Have you thought about how long you have been emotinally and physically attracted to women?
We're frail human beings. You're not alone. We all have challenges in our hearts, and in our lives. When these challenges and questions in our life begin to be a struggle, then that's when we need to seek advice from a confident and professional assistance.
Have you thought of seeing a counselor or a therapist for guidance? No matter what we need to face, we alwys need a little help. But, remember, the decision is yours to make.
Your first step was to write to me. The next step is yours. You'll find the steps easier and easier to take with the right guidance.
Be easy on yourself. If everything else in life is going well for you, count yourself fortunate. Enjoy all that is around you and the support of friends and family.
I wish you you peace of mind, peace of heart, and peace and health for the next year.
By submitting a letter to this website, you grant the GoPride Network permission to publish it on this site or elsewhere including print publications.
Your name and email address will never be included or distributed. Due to the large number of letters received, there is no guarantee that a question will be responded to.
GoPride Network advice columnists offer their opinions on a variety of subjects. They are expressing personal and professional opinions and views. These opinions or views are not intended to treat or diagnose; nor are they meant to replace the treatment and care that you may be receiving from a licensed physician or mental health professional.
GoPride Network and its advice columnists are not responsible for the outcome or results of following their advice in any given situation. You are completely responsible for your actions and neither Jill nor Vicki accepts any liability for any situation in your life past, present or future.
The GoPride Network reserve the right to edit letters for length and clarity.