I am sure by now most of you have seen the video that has gone viral by Jonah Mowry the 14 year old gay boy who is being bullied at school. Well I watched the video myself and for 2 hours I could not stop crying. I feel so bad for kids who feel like they are lost or have no voice cause I once was there and remember those horrible days. I also have experienced many of those days as a teenager and as an adult. I always get upset when I see post of "it gets better" cause I often say WHEN? True it is always great to never give up hope and believe for a better start but after time and time of abuse, neglect from so many you often wonder. I made a youtube response to Jonahs video that is personal and the best of what I could say in few words on a notecard. I hope all that are out there that feel lost see the love and support that Jonah has received and that we each have a reason to be here even if we don't know what it is yet! 

here is the link to my video check it out will ya! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoE8c3fzaPo

As I lay hidden under a pile of dirty clothes, I could hear
loud noises and screams coming from the kitchen. I heard a thud against the
wall and it rattled my back and sent a tingle down my spine, I grabbed on to my
mothers favorite sweater and I felt a tear crawl down my now red and painful eyes. I
heard another noise come from the kitchen entrance, this one different then so
many times before. A loud boom and thud which I could recognize as the wood of
the kitchen table being splintered by a person’s body. I cringed and didn’t hear
anything after that for what seemed to be a never ending moment. I thought is
my mother dead? Did he finally kill her? Even worse is he coming for me
again, all of a sudden my mother appears and calls my name, “Ben” she hollers “Come
on we have to leave now”. She grabbed my hand and tugged ever so gently as she
grabbed for the phone to call 9-1-1 before the operator answered she whispered,
"Don’t fear anymore my son, it is going to be different now" and she was right it
totally was. My Mom for the first time in many years stood up to my Father that
day and struck him down, she had had enough of his violence and the fear for
her safety for herself and for me. It was done.

Flash forward to 24 years later and I am now a 30 year old
man. I have not been hit nor had fear placed into my life since that last moment
when my Mom took my hand. But that all changed recently.  A man I was dating
decided to lay his hands and stuck me in the face after a night of boozing and
partying with friends. This was not out of play and fun, and totally was abuse as I have seen it so many times before.
I am not going to go into detail about whom it was or sit here and have a pity
party, what I am going to do is say that this person is no longer in my life. I
will not allow a person in my life after what my Mother and I both suffered through before. I will say as a man I do feel like something of my manhood has been
taken away. My Mother was in her 30’s when she was abused physically and mentally and I hated that it
happened to her as a woman but how could I allow this to happen to me, a man in his 30's. All
I can do is remain strong and seek every bit of help that I need to get through
it. I write this to encourage you today and use my small voice to speak loudly to you if you are being abused in anyway that
is making you fear for your life, fear for your physical or emotional safety,
please follow my lead and know that you are not alone, It doesn’t matter your
creed, gender, sexual identity, age, anything. No one
deserves to be abused physically or emotionally. There is help out there and
you can find it, don’t be afraid to reach out. Here is some information for
local Chicago
help as well as people that are reading this from around the world. Please take
care of yourself! You are worth it!!

For more information or to get
help, please call:

TTHEHE NNATIONALATIONAL DDOMESTICOMESTIC VVIOLENCEIOLENCE
HHOTLINEOTLINE at
1-800-799-7233

THE NATIONAL SEXUAL ASSAULT HOTLINE AT 1-800-656-4673

THE NATIONAL TEEN DATING ABUSE HOTLINE AT 1-866-331-9474

FOR CHICAGO AREA

Gay Men’s Domestic Violence 24-Hour Hotline:
1.800.832.1901

http://gmdvp.org/

Toll-Free. 24-hour. Confidential. Multilingual.

Phone: 1-877-863-6338

TTY: 1-877-863-6339