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It's 3 am & I'm lying in bed trying to recount the days events. Thankful for those I had a chance to talk with and stitching the things I learned together in a way that makes more sense to me. And then it hit me. The double entendre - black & white films. It's not about wether they were filmed in technicolor or not - it's the message they compose. It's all too black and white. My father is a fan of black and white films and it never really made sense why he enjoyed them so much until tonight. I don't think it has as much to do with the nostalgia of his childhood or the "high moral standards" of the time as it does the fact that it lacks the grit and (color) complexity of reality. Can you imagine how different life would be if everyone was either all good or all evil? All black or all white? It wouldn't be hard to find the crooked politicians or promote heros to positions of power. Unfortunately it's not that easy - we are all humans and we all fail at a lot of things. If you need proof just visit your local zoo and look at the animal kingdom and you'll clearly see that we will NEVER be the strongest or fastest or best swimmers or have the best vision, etc. and we would fail miserably in any competition based on sheer ability. But we do learn fairly well and we can adapt to change fairly quickly when we want to. Just look at the internet and how quickly that has taken up residence in our lives. So what's keeping us from solving issues like civil rights or homelessness or genocide or AIDS or even global warming? Is it greed? Lack of willpower? Ignorance is always bliss, right? I think we have a rainbow of reasons but we don't really want to look at them. Some of us are just happier with black & white films. We'd rather not stand alone and look like a fool add(mit)ing our "pigment" to this great big color wheel we call earth. No one wants to stand up in a crowd and say "hey I'm human, I'm a little greedy and yes I probably could get by with a smaller house or more fuel efficient car and donate the money I save to AIDS research if it will help solve some of OUR problems". We're much happier just watching things through our black and white TV sets. This way we can change the channel or lower the volume if something we don't want to watch comes on. And all this from the guy who's colorblind.

Life is a dream that never repeats
Like a soft whisper that never completes

Somedays storm and thunder and rain
You sit in agony, drenched in your pain
Somedays are calm, peaceful and blue
You look in the mirror and know what is true
But the best days are warm, sunny and few
You are blind to all facts, and fiction is true
You sit in a tree with your mind in the clouds
No concern or frustration, only love that is loud

Your heart keeps on longing - breath after breath
Not enjoying what's here but remembering death
For true - that to all good things, they must die
But praying it's not tomorrow as doubt fills your eyes
For no matter how hard you hold with your hands
No matter how much you'd give of your lands
No matter what your mind may try to invent,
Nothing can hold it, so just be content.

Tomorrow may bring you unfathomed storms
And today may be nothing that could keep you warm
But somewhere along this crazy maze
You will find your desire in the midst of a haze
And then you will wake from this endless dream
And see sights of coffee swirling with cream

Then somewhere amidst a gentle warm breeze
You will hear these three words-
Live. Love. Be.

I wish I were.

I wish I might.

I wish I had this dance tonight.

Forever and a day goes by.

I wish I were...

I wish it right.

They're Real and They're Mean!!

(Plus they're loaded with calories)

Let's just say that if life were a hooker...she ain't putting out.

That's dandy if you just like conversation, but then why the fuck would you pay for a hooker? Even the cheapest hooker will cost you a shot or two. I think life is a hooker - and God's the pimp. And if I wasn't going to hell before, I am now - which is fine because from what I hear the devil puts out. Supposedly she also wears Prada which means she's expensive. That's probably why God damned her. Once Adam got a taste of her apple he was probably like "Eve who?" And we all know you can't be a profitable pimp if your boy's worm keeps eating your prize apple.

Solution: Damn her to hell, Watch your only son die, blame everyone for his death and then take "penance payments" and charitable contributions (made out to the church) for the rest of eternity. Afterall, the house has gotta make 10% right?