Monday 2/18/2008
So here's the story from A to Z...
Picture it: overpriced clothes for sale, underage girls wearing clothes that leave nothing to the imagination, and young virginal gay boys who will eventually run away to Hollywood where they will be forced to star in several low-budget porn films shot with a camera purchased at Circuit City. No, I'm not describing a typical evening on the Sunset Strip. I'm describing the atmosphere of last Friday's Spice Girls concert at the United Center.
I admit it. Ten years later, I'm still a huge Spice Girls fan. As the queer kid in high school, I jammed out to "Wannabe" during marching band road trips. In college, I mourned the departure of Ginger Spice and danced to Melanie C's "I Turn to You" while doing ecstasy at several gay clubs in Houston. I was there through all of their pregnancies, and last year I even voted for Melanie B on "Dancing With the Stars." Now I'm 28 and I'm one of the oldest people sitting in section 209 of the Spice Girls reunion tour, but I didn't care.
They put on an amazing show. Nine high-resolution jumbo monitors, an enormous stage with moving parts that juts out into the audience like a fashion show runway, a ton of glitter that fell upon the audience, Melanie B's S&M machine, and an all-male dance group with not an ounce of jiggle on them were just a few things that we had the pleasure of witnessing last Friday.
Geri also treated us to her rendition of the gay national anthem "It's Raining Men."
Some of the best entertainment that evening wasn't on the stage. The girls who attended the concert provided quite a bit of fodder for return trip conversation as well as material for blog entries. A lot of girls wore outfits that did not complement their bodies. Some also wore stiletto heels and had a hell of a time trying to keep their ankles from wiggling. I know it's a fun event and that you want to look good, but who are you going to impress by wearing that stuff at a Spice Girls concert? The only men who are going to look their way are gay men and it's only because they either want to know why the girls didn't wear a foundation that is closer to their actual skin tone or to make sure that they're not hallucinating when they see them walking in the freezing weather with no coat.
Mike
and Israel, who invited me to attend with them (a million thank-yous), made an interesting comment after observing the hullabaloo that was the Chicago Spice Girls fan base. They said that a lot of the girls and gay boys who went to the show had to have been either four or five years old when the Spice Girls first made it onto the scene. At first I thought they were Johnny-come-lately fans, but the big girl in the row in front of me proved me wrong. She wore a tiny top and low rise jeans that tried their darnedest to hide that crack of hers, but she belted out every word of every song and danced every move to go with it like she was prepared to go on in the unfortunate event that Posh would collapse from low blood sugar. Bless her heart!
A lot of people in America are quick to scoff at the Spice Girls because they're not great singers
and they're really flashy or hokey, but there are a lot of successful entertainers out there who can't sing anyway. I'm more attracted to the whole package, not the minor details like being able to sing without lip syncing. Each of the girls has a unique style and personality (like a lot of the queens you know), which is probably why they're so popular with the gays. Another reason could be that Roberto Cavalli designed the outfits for the show, but let's pretend for a second that all of the gays aren't into fashion.
I admit it. Ten years later, I'm still a huge Spice Girls fan. As the queer kid in high school, I jammed out to "Wannabe" during marching band road trips. In college, I mourned the departure of Ginger Spice and danced to Melanie C's "I Turn to You" while doing ecstasy at several gay clubs in Houston. I was there through all of their pregnancies, and last year I even voted for Melanie B on "Dancing With the Stars." Now I'm 28 and I'm one of the oldest people sitting in section 209 of the Spice Girls reunion tour, but I didn't care.
They put on an amazing show. Nine high-resolution jumbo monitors, an enormous stage with moving parts that juts out into the audience like a fashion show runway, a ton of glitter that fell upon the audience, Melanie B's S&M machine, and an all-male dance group with not an ounce of jiggle on them were just a few things that we had the pleasure of witnessing last Friday.
Geri also treated us to her rendition of the gay national anthem "It's Raining Men."
Some of the best entertainment that evening wasn't on the stage. The girls who attended the concert provided quite a bit of fodder for return trip conversation as well as material for blog entries. A lot of girls wore outfits that did not complement their bodies. Some also wore stiletto heels and had a hell of a time trying to keep their ankles from wiggling. I know it's a fun event and that you want to look good, but who are you going to impress by wearing that stuff at a Spice Girls concert? The only men who are going to look their way are gay men and it's only because they either want to know why the girls didn't wear a foundation that is closer to their actual skin tone or to make sure that they're not hallucinating when they see them walking in the freezing weather with no coat.
Mike
and Israel, who invited me to attend with them (a million thank-yous), made an interesting comment after observing the hullabaloo that was the Chicago Spice Girls fan base. They said that a lot of the girls and gay boys who went to the show had to have been either four or five years old when the Spice Girls first made it onto the scene. At first I thought they were Johnny-come-lately fans, but the big girl in the row in front of me proved me wrong. She wore a tiny top and low rise jeans that tried their darnedest to hide that crack of hers, but she belted out every word of every song and danced every move to go with it like she was prepared to go on in the unfortunate event that Posh would collapse from low blood sugar. Bless her heart!
A lot of people in America are quick to scoff at the Spice Girls because they're not great singers
and they're really flashy or hokey, but there are a lot of successful entertainers out there who can't sing anyway. I'm more attracted to the whole package, not the minor details like being able to sing without lip syncing. Each of the girls has a unique style and personality (like a lot of the queens you know), which is probably why they're so popular with the gays. Another reason could be that Roberto Cavalli designed the outfits for the show, but let's pretend for a second that all of the gays aren't into fashion.
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zoozoo6
Total blog posts: 1
MyPride friends: 1
Don't be ashamed young man.
I'm 37 and I have recently started jerking off to that little slut whose father is that crappy country singer, who also appears on a crappy tv show where he plays a crappy doctor. Like your gonna believe such a hick is gonna know anything about medicine.
And I haven't given up on the olsen twins!!!
I'm 37 and I have recently started jerking off to that little slut whose father is that crappy country singer, who also appears on a crappy tv show where he plays a crappy doctor. Like your gonna believe such a hick is gonna know anything about medicine.
And I haven't given up on the olsen twins!!!
Wednesday 2/13/2008
I'll Cover You
I usually argue the old adage "you can't judge a book by its cover" because you really can judge a book by its cover. Whenever you're buying a book in a book store, don't you always want the one that's in the best shape? You take the one from the back of the stack because it's usually very crisp and doesn't have a lot of wear because it's been touched by hundreds of men. I could just be thinking of boys and not books, but aren't they interchangeable?
Speaking of covers, the cover of this week's issue of the Gay Chicago features two shirtless men against a computer-rendered background of red hearts and it's titled "Happy Valentine's Day." After reading the magazine, I must admit that it left me with a bad taste in my mouth... and not in the usual way.
I rely on the Gay Chicago for a lot of my entertainment, gay news, and social planning. The issue was great, including the reviews and the pictures from the weekend. I love seeing if any of my inebriated friends make it into the picture section so I can laminate it and put it on my refrigerator. A large part of why I enjoyed it this week was the wonderful interview with Olympia Dukakis. I think she's an absolute gem and I've been a fan since I saw her in Moonstruck (and "Look Who's Talking," I admit it). I also have to mention that any cast member from the movie "Steel Magnolias" gets an automatic VIP in the gay community.
My problem with the cover was that it wasn't relevant to what was inside the issue. The title of the cover was "Happy Valentine's Day, yet there were no Valentine's Day themed articles in it.
I asked the people at Gay Chicago why Olympia wasn't featured more prominently on the cover, but I still haven't heard back from them. The title of the interview was "Olympia Dukakis: The Interview" which suggests that it's sort of a big deal, so why not put her face on the front? It couldn't be because they couldn't get a picture. One of the recent covers had a screen capture of Jake Gyllenhaal doing the monologue of Saturday Night Live, it's not like there was a shortage of Olympia Dukakis material floating around.
I then saw that Olympia's picture really was on there, but it was a tiny little picture in the upper right hand corner that is dwarfed by the two shirtless men. Maybe that's how people perceive the homosexual's attention span. Well not all of us get mesmerized by hot men, so there. If you want to mesmerize me, then put a picture of someone cleaning my house on the cover of a magazine.
Speaking of covers, the cover of this week's issue of the Gay Chicago features two shirtless men against a computer-rendered background of red hearts and it's titled "Happy Valentine's Day." After reading the magazine, I must admit that it left me with a bad taste in my mouth... and not in the usual way.
I rely on the Gay Chicago for a lot of my entertainment, gay news, and social planning. The issue was great, including the reviews and the pictures from the weekend. I love seeing if any of my inebriated friends make it into the picture section so I can laminate it and put it on my refrigerator. A large part of why I enjoyed it this week was the wonderful interview with Olympia Dukakis. I think she's an absolute gem and I've been a fan since I saw her in Moonstruck (and "Look Who's Talking," I admit it). I also have to mention that any cast member from the movie "Steel Magnolias" gets an automatic VIP in the gay community.
My problem with the cover was that it wasn't relevant to what was inside the issue. The title of the cover was "Happy Valentine's Day, yet there were no Valentine's Day themed articles in it.
I asked the people at Gay Chicago why Olympia wasn't featured more prominently on the cover, but I still haven't heard back from them. The title of the interview was "Olympia Dukakis: The Interview" which suggests that it's sort of a big deal, so why not put her face on the front? It couldn't be because they couldn't get a picture. One of the recent covers had a screen capture of Jake Gyllenhaal doing the monologue of Saturday Night Live, it's not like there was a shortage of Olympia Dukakis material floating around.
I then saw that Olympia's picture really was on there, but it was a tiny little picture in the upper right hand corner that is dwarfed by the two shirtless men. Maybe that's how people perceive the homosexual's attention span. Well not all of us get mesmerized by hot men, so there. If you want to mesmerize me, then put a picture of someone cleaning my house on the cover of a magazine.
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zoozoo6
Total blog posts: 1
MyPride friends: 1
Sir it's called selling magazines!!
Who in the hell is gonna buy a magazine with some old bag on the cover, especially a gay magazine.
That magazine is targeted at a young fan base, they don't know who she is.
I myself have bought plenty of magazines just for the cover. Do you think a gay young man is gonna buy a magazine with olympia whats her face on the cover?
At the very least if whats inside sucks you can jerk off to the cover.
Who in the hell is gonna buy a magazine with some old bag on the cover, especially a gay magazine.
That magazine is targeted at a young fan base, they don't know who she is.
I myself have bought plenty of magazines just for the cover. Do you think a gay young man is gonna buy a magazine with olympia whats her face on the cover?
At the very least if whats inside sucks you can jerk off to the cover.
Monday 2/11/2008
Lucky Little Queer Kids
The gay children in this generation don't know how great they have it. I don't make this claim because I'm jealous of the fact that they'll one day have the ease to do things without fear of social nonacceptance such as marry, donate blood, and choose the genetic qualities of their future children. I'm referring to the fact that there are a lot of cute and hot people who appear in the television shows they watch.
How many cute or hot people taught you not to play with matches or to count to ten? It sounds silly, I know, but think back to all of the programs that you watched as a kid. The hotness of any children's television personality from 1980 to 1990 only registered a faint blip on our Gaydar, with the exception of Miguel from 3-2-1 Contact. He was a cute Hispanic boy who wore tight jeans and knew everything there is to know about centrifugal force. Other than that, we had NO ONE! Well, there was Mister Rogers, but I didn't become interested in older men until high school. Hey, how many men can dress comfortably AND use their imagination these days?
Here are a few examples of what our future friends of Dorothy are tuning in to watch when they wake up from their naps:
Steve Burns (Blue's Clues) - Most of the boyfriends I've had in my life were ones who yell,
dominate the conversation, and lazily sit around the house. Steve is one of those guys who would make a great boyfriend because was never like that. He was very soft-spoken, he always wanted to know what was on your mind, and he loved getting the mail.
Steve isn't on the show anymore, but I find him cuter than his replacement.
Anthony Field (The Wiggles) -
As the blue wiggle, he brings joy to millions of kids. But I defy you to look at him and not try to imagine this salt and pepper haired daddy wearing a harness and clanking the chains of a dungeon sling as he orders you to lick his boots. I don't think it can be done.
Simon Thomas and Matt Baker (Blue Peter) - Blue Peter is a children's television show in the UK and it also happens to be the longest running children's television show in history. A few years ago, they had a couple of smokin' hot hunky presenters named Matt Baker and Simon Thomas.
This is what they look like with their shirts on.
This is what they look like with their shirts off.
I guess it's okay that I'm not a gay kid at the moment because I wouldn't have a chance with any of these men as a spanky little seven year old who plays with Barbie dolls. But that's cold comfort, seeing as how I kind of don't have a chance with them as a twenty eight year old gay man because none of them are gay anyway.
How many cute or hot people taught you not to play with matches or to count to ten? It sounds silly, I know, but think back to all of the programs that you watched as a kid. The hotness of any children's television personality from 1980 to 1990 only registered a faint blip on our Gaydar, with the exception of Miguel from 3-2-1 Contact. He was a cute Hispanic boy who wore tight jeans and knew everything there is to know about centrifugal force. Other than that, we had NO ONE! Well, there was Mister Rogers, but I didn't become interested in older men until high school. Hey, how many men can dress comfortably AND use their imagination these days?
Here are a few examples of what our future friends of Dorothy are tuning in to watch when they wake up from their naps:
Steve Burns (Blue's Clues) - Most of the boyfriends I've had in my life were ones who yell,
dominate the conversation, and lazily sit around the house. Steve is one of those guys who would make a great boyfriend because was never like that. He was very soft-spoken, he always wanted to know what was on your mind, and he loved getting the mail.
Steve isn't on the show anymore, but I find him cuter than his replacement.
Anthony Field (The Wiggles) -
As the blue wiggle, he brings joy to millions of kids. But I defy you to look at him and not try to imagine this salt and pepper haired daddy wearing a harness and clanking the chains of a dungeon sling as he orders you to lick his boots. I don't think it can be done.
Simon Thomas and Matt Baker (Blue Peter) - Blue Peter is a children's television show in the UK and it also happens to be the longest running children's television show in history. A few years ago, they had a couple of smokin' hot hunky presenters named Matt Baker and Simon Thomas.
This is what they look like with their shirts on.
This is what they look like with their shirts off.
I guess it's okay that I'm not a gay kid at the moment because I wouldn't have a chance with any of these men as a spanky little seven year old who plays with Barbie dolls. But that's cold comfort, seeing as how I kind of don't have a chance with them as a twenty eight year old gay man because none of them are gay anyway.
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zoozoo6
Total blog posts: 1
MyPride friends: 1
But you can still wackoff to the shows.
Go ahead, it'll be our little secret.
Go ahead, it'll be our little secret.
Friday 2/1/2008
Queen, You're No Jack Kennedy!
Last week I attended a party full of gay men and was accused of being part of the reason why this country is so messed up. That is a very serious accusation that caught me completely off guard, partly because I've always thought of myself as a positive contributer to our society. I'm a registered organ/tissue/marrow donor, I pay my taxes, and I always hiss and make hooting noises at the television whenever I see Nancy Grace talking. What more do you want from me?
It all started when one of the conversations turned political. I wondered out loud how the gay men of the world would fare in a country led by some of the presidential hopefuls, which prompted one of the outspoken queens to flip his imaginary hair and ask me, point blank, who I'd vote for on Tuesday.
I responded with my usual response:
The actual phrasing varies in every situation, but the basic idea is there.
This prompted the outspoken queen to take off his imaginary earrings and imaginary Lee press-on nails so he could lay into me, and that's when he accused me of being part of the reason why this country was so messed up. According to him, people my age should be more aware of the issues that affect the country and that making jokes about something so important probably means that I won't care about voting.
I didn't get a chance to respond to that because the player piano started to play "Oops! I Did it Again!" and everyone got a big laugh out of it, which provided enough laughter to draw the outspoken and obviously drunk queen's attention away from me.
I don't like to talk about politics because EVERYONE has their own opinion about it and they all think that theirs is the right opinion, which makes EVERYONE want to respond to everyone else's views. All of a sudden, we're in Wolf Blitzer's "Situation Room" instead of a fun party where I should be enjoying myself.
I don't ever discuss who I'm going to vote for because it's nobody's business. Just because my television screen doesn't have the CNN logo burned into it from having it on twenty four hours a day doesn't mean that I'm messing up the country.
It all started when one of the conversations turned political. I wondered out loud how the gay men of the world would fare in a country led by some of the presidential hopefuls, which prompted one of the outspoken queens to flip his imaginary hair and ask me, point blank, who I'd vote for on Tuesday.
I responded with my usual response:
"I'll vote for whoever can hold their own in various American Gladiators events. How great would it be to know that the leader of the free world can scale a giant padded pyramid in less than sixty seconds? If I were a terrorist, I'd be scared of that."
The actual phrasing varies in every situation, but the basic idea is there.
This prompted the outspoken queen to take off his imaginary earrings and imaginary Lee press-on nails so he could lay into me, and that's when he accused me of being part of the reason why this country was so messed up. According to him, people my age should be more aware of the issues that affect the country and that making jokes about something so important probably means that I won't care about voting.
I didn't get a chance to respond to that because the player piano started to play "Oops! I Did it Again!" and everyone got a big laugh out of it, which provided enough laughter to draw the outspoken and obviously drunk queen's attention away from me.
I don't like to talk about politics because EVERYONE has their own opinion about it and they all think that theirs is the right opinion, which makes EVERYONE want to respond to everyone else's views. All of a sudden, we're in Wolf Blitzer's "Situation Room" instead of a fun party where I should be enjoying myself.
I don't ever discuss who I'm going to vote for because it's nobody's business. Just because my television screen doesn't have the CNN logo burned into it from having it on twenty four hours a day doesn't mean that I'm messing up the country.
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zoozoo6
Total blog posts: 1
MyPride friends: 1
I personaly would vote for the person that would plunge this country into complete chaos.
Friday 1/25/2008
My Gay Relationship Made Me Do It
Yesterday we were discussing the wonderful topic of cheating spouses and the breakthrough
semen home test kit called CheckMate. It's cool for heterosexuals, but what's a homo to do when he suspects his lover of infidelity? The CheckMate is practically useless to gay men, for obvious reasons (both members of the relationship produce semen). We can't exactly de-pants our lovers and swab down their ass holes in search of semen that shouldn't be there. That's just crazy.
One of my friends actually had an idea as to how gay men can use the CheckMate without being discovered:
I'm pretty sure that this is illegal, not to mention morally reprehensible. Roofies have been known to put people in comas if they didn't die from the initial dose. You don't want your lover to end up in a coma or to die. Then you'll NEVER know if he was really cheating on you. You'll also be stuck with either a hospital or funeral bill.
I asked a few of my gay male friends what they would do if they ever suspected that their lover was cheating on them:
I'd just ask him, point blank.
He'll say he's not cheating. Then you'll believe him and you'll both live as a happy couple, making bundt cakes and streudels. Then you wake up with chlamydia and a note on your pillow, stating that "it just isn't working."
I'd look through his email records, chat transcripts, cell phone records, txt msgs...
You'd need access to his computer and cell phone, which probably would require diverting his attention with some grand scheme in order to get a free moment to search it. Who has time to do all of that? Another thing to consider is that the guy is probably smart enough to know not to set up his trysts using methods that are easily traceable.
I'd ask around. My friends would tell me if they knew anything.
I kind of like this one. Of course, it'll only work if you've got mutual friends.
Send a fake email to him posing as someone else and tell him how long you've had a crush on him and ask if he'd be interested in meeting up for coffee.
This only works if you know he's using a dating/casual sex website like Manhunt or Adam4Adam. And what are you going to do when he does take the bait? You're forced to confront him at that point, and you'll just end up looking like a nutjob who has all this time on his hands to create a phony profile.
You can ask him the same questions on several occasions and wait for him to slip up.
If you watch courtroom dramas, you'd know that this tactic is utilized by most of the lawyers. It has definite merit in real life though, as most cheating men are not smart enough to practice their testimony when they're being grilled by the lover they're cheating on.
What I'd do
I recommend hiring a private investigator. If you're one of my six faithful readers, you'd know that I discovered that my boyfriend cheated on me and I chronicled it in the entry entitled "I'm on to you!" I spent weeks searching for the truth, weeks I could have spent taking music lessons or reading a good book. Private investigators also have access to a wealth of resources that the general public does not. All you have to do is provide a few details about his life and sit back while he does all the work for you. At the end of the investigation, you get a nice little portfolio with either incriminating photos of your lover with some skinny crack whore who dances at The Lucky Horseshoe or a piece of paper with the name of a good counselor who specializes in paranoia because your lover really wasn't cheating on you. The important thing is that you'll have figured out the truth without getting your hands dirty or looking like a raving lunatic.
semen home test kit called CheckMate. It's cool for heterosexuals, but what's a homo to do when he suspects his lover of infidelity? The CheckMate is practically useless to gay men, for obvious reasons (both members of the relationship produce semen). We can't exactly de-pants our lovers and swab down their ass holes in search of semen that shouldn't be there. That's just crazy.
One of my friends actually had an idea as to how gay men can use the CheckMate without being discovered:
You put rufees in his drink as soon as he comes home. Then you use the kit to test his body for sperm. Be sure to test his hair!
I'm pretty sure that this is illegal, not to mention morally reprehensible. Roofies have been known to put people in comas if they didn't die from the initial dose. You don't want your lover to end up in a coma or to die. Then you'll NEVER know if he was really cheating on you. You'll also be stuck with either a hospital or funeral bill.
I asked a few of my gay male friends what they would do if they ever suspected that their lover was cheating on them:
I'd just ask him, point blank.
He'll say he's not cheating. Then you'll believe him and you'll both live as a happy couple, making bundt cakes and streudels. Then you wake up with chlamydia and a note on your pillow, stating that "it just isn't working."
I'd look through his email records, chat transcripts, cell phone records, txt msgs...
You'd need access to his computer and cell phone, which probably would require diverting his attention with some grand scheme in order to get a free moment to search it. Who has time to do all of that? Another thing to consider is that the guy is probably smart enough to know not to set up his trysts using methods that are easily traceable.
I'd ask around. My friends would tell me if they knew anything.
I kind of like this one. Of course, it'll only work if you've got mutual friends.
Send a fake email to him posing as someone else and tell him how long you've had a crush on him and ask if he'd be interested in meeting up for coffee.
This only works if you know he's using a dating/casual sex website like Manhunt or Adam4Adam. And what are you going to do when he does take the bait? You're forced to confront him at that point, and you'll just end up looking like a nutjob who has all this time on his hands to create a phony profile.
You can ask him the same questions on several occasions and wait for him to slip up.
If you watch courtroom dramas, you'd know that this tactic is utilized by most of the lawyers. It has definite merit in real life though, as most cheating men are not smart enough to practice their testimony when they're being grilled by the lover they're cheating on.
What I'd do
I recommend hiring a private investigator. If you're one of my six faithful readers, you'd know that I discovered that my boyfriend cheated on me and I chronicled it in the entry entitled "I'm on to you!" I spent weeks searching for the truth, weeks I could have spent taking music lessons or reading a good book. Private investigators also have access to a wealth of resources that the general public does not. All you have to do is provide a few details about his life and sit back while he does all the work for you. At the end of the investigation, you get a nice little portfolio with either incriminating photos of your lover with some skinny crack whore who dances at The Lucky Horseshoe or a piece of paper with the name of a good counselor who specializes in paranoia because your lover really wasn't cheating on you. The important thing is that you'll have figured out the truth without getting your hands dirty or looking like a raving lunatic.
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RyanOH
Total blog posts: 1
MyPride friends: 1
Trust your instincts!
A friend of mine found a DudesNude.com profile for a boyfriend of a friend of ours. It's active and he was on just last week. Should we tell? Would you?
A friend of mine found a DudesNude.com profile for a boyfriend of a friend of ours. It's active and he was on just last week. Should we tell? Would you?
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zoozoo6
Total blog posts: 1
MyPride friends: 1
RyanOh, I would rat him out immediately!!!
As for me, this is my rule:
If it's just a boyfriend you shouldn't have that much invested in the relationship, just get rid of him.
A long term relationship is another thing, in other words: joint bank accounts, live together, drive the same car. In this case I would do some investigating.
As for me, this is my rule:
If it's just a boyfriend you shouldn't have that much invested in the relationship, just get rid of him.
A long term relationship is another thing, in other words: joint bank accounts, live together, drive the same car. In this case I would do some investigating.
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